Roles Reversed
by Mystics Apprentice
Summary: Sora always wondered what it'd be like to live in his best friend's shoes, only he never thought he'd literally have to. Upon finding a mysterious trapdoor on Destiny Islands, Sora and Riku find that they've physically switched places. The two are desperate to return to their original selves―if only they can find a way. No yaoi. Cover art by KeybladeMosstar.
1. The Station of Reversal

**Author's Note**: This idea came to me some time back, though it took me a great while to figure out how to compose it into a story. I had several different methods in making Sora and Riku switch places, but thought either they were taken, sounded too cheesy, or just didn't work out too well in the long scheme of things. I do apologize that this chapter will probably seem dull, but hey, everything must have a dull beginning, yes? This was my first time attempting to portray Sora, and believe me, it was no easy feat. I still don't think I did a very accurate job of portraying him, as he's just a bit too energetic and lively for me to quite capture with words. Also, I tried to bear in mind that he has a bit more simpler of a vocabulary than my typical third-person writing style does, so I tried my best to incorporate that as well.

This story takes place directly before the events of Kingdom Hearts I, where Sora is fourteen years old and Riku a year older.

Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts! I'm always eager to know what my readers are thinking, and I'm always open for suggestions in improving the story. Also, I'm quite curious to hear what people thought of this being written in first-person. I greatly debated over writing this in third-person, actually, and am still considering switching over to it. If anyone wouldn't mind telling me which they'd prefer seeing, I'd be more than grateful.

As always, a big thank you for reading! Enjoy!

Cover art was done by KeybladeMosstar, who's writing talents exceed many of the average authoresses. I'd highly recommend you go read her work, namely her story titled _MISFITS_.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or any of their characters. All rights belong to their respective owners, Tetsuya Nomura and Square Enix to name a few.

"_I've been having these weird thoughts lately..._

_ Like, is any of this for real...or not?"_

The soles of my shoes hit the warm sand as I raced across the beach against my best friend, Riku. I was winning, but then again, I would always be winning until this point in the race. It would happen this way every time. I don't know whether it was Riku toying with me, or my energy would give out, but he always manages to bound past me within the last fifteen-seconds of the race. I wasn't going to let him beat me this time though. No; this time, things were gonna be different.

I climbed the wooden ladder as fast as my hands could grasp the steps, and leapt up to my feet without a moment's delay. Riku continued to run below me; he always took a different route than I did. His route was probably shorter in the long scheme of things, but it never worked for me. He'd stay on the shoreline until he reached the short, brick wall not too far from our finish line, but because his legs were longer than mine, he could jump over it with ease. I would always end up managing to jump it, but then I'd trip up over those thick, prickly bushes that are located right along the edge afterwards. Not fun.

He was gaining up on me, I could tell that much as I reached the ramp that stretched across the shallow water (aka: Riku's route) below. I stole another glance over towards Riku, continuing to pick up my speed, until I felt my foot fall straight through the wooden plank, just before the entire platform fell through. I couldn't help but give out a small yelp of surprise as I shot through the new hole in the ramp that I'd created and fell into the shallow water below.

Riku, not fully seeming to notice that I'd fallen, had reached my spot at almost the very same time, and ended up tripping clean over my leg, sending him spiraling to the ground on his face, _hard_.

"Whoa, Sora-" said Riku breathlessly, as he pushed his upper body from the ground, water streaming from his drenched silver locks. "What are you doing down here?"

"Well, what does it look like? I fell, you idiot," I murmured bitterly, both out of frustration and from my backside rather hurting. My fall wasn't pretty, and it's not like I fell on anything soft, either.

Riku frowned, standing up alongside me as he cocked a brow in response to my statement.

"Fell? What are you talking about?" he asked, glancing up towards the ramp above. "Since when have you not been able to handle heights?"

"No, Riku, I fell _through _the ramp. See that big ol' hole up there?" I pointed frantically above my head, as if exaggerating would help me to get my point across better.

"Okay, fine; let's start over, even though I would've won fair and square if I'd kept going-"

"What?" I asked incredulously. "You fell over me! If you hadn't stopped to talk to me, I would've been up on my feet and creamed ya within seconds flat."

"Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that, Sora."

"Well, you just wait and see; I'll-

"Sora..."

"But I will!"

"No, Sora, it's not that," Riku replied, shaking his head and pointing at the ground underneath me. "It's just- what are you sitting on? It looks like some kind of...trapdoor or something."

"Huh?" I spread my legs further apart and peered down at what I'd initially thought was the remains of the wooden ramp, until I began to further examine it. I dusted the sand particles off of the surface of the smooth wood, and noticed the metal hinges along the side.

"Hey, Riku, you're right!" I exclaimed gleefully, crawling off of our newest discovery to better examine it. "This really is a trapdoor! Pretty cool, huh?"

Riku frowned slightly as he crouched down beside me, examining the trapdoor more carefully.

"I wonder though," he thought aloud, more to himself than to me, "if it was always here, why didn't we ever notice it before?"

"It was probably buried under all the sand that I just stirred up," I replied dismissively as I began searching for a handle or anything that I could use to lift the door. "That's why we never noticed it before."

Riku's lips parted slightly as he gave me _that_ look, that look he'd always give me when he thought I was being stupid.

"An unlikely theory, Sora."

I wasn't listening to him all too well by that point, as I finally found a metal handle along the side of the door. I grinned up at him madly and asked, "You ready to go see what's inside?"

He shrugged as his eyes darted from me to the door. I could tell that he was thinking hard, because that's always what he'd do when trying to make a decision about stuff.

"But anything could be down there," he began to say. "We don't even know if we'll be able to get back-"

"Nah, Riku, you worry too much," I informed him, as I grasped the metal door firmly with both hands and began to pull. Dang, was it heavy!

Riku came alongside me and began helping me yank the trapdoor open; I think he was a little surprised at how heavy the door was, too.

"I'm not _worrying_, Sora," he told me seriously as we swung the door back so that it lay flat in the shallow water. "I'm just trying to be methodical, that's all."

I rolled my eyes; I know when Riku was being paranoid and when he wasn't. This was one of those times though; I could mainly tell by the uncertainty that haunted his eyes.

"Aww, forget it," I said. "Let's just get down there and see where it leads to!"

RIku leaned forward to peer down into the opening that we'd just made within the sand, as we slightly banged heads when I moved forward to do the same. It was pitch-black down there, or what all that I could make of it, at least.

"I wonder how far down it goes," I wondered aloud, as Riku began searching the sand for a rock. "I mean, I'd sort of hate to just jump down there and fall a hundred feet - That'd definitely hurt more than just falling through a ramp."

"Well, let's find out then," Riku replied, twisting a small rock between his fingers before dropping it into the darkness below. After only a few seconds we both heard a dull 'smack' of the rock hitting something. I grinned up at him.

"See? It's not deep at all," I informed him as I stood up. I hovered one foot over the hole as Riku looked up at me, giving me that darn _look _again.

"But, Sora..." he said uncertainly, beginning to peer down the whole again. "If we heard the rock hit the bottom after only a few short seconds, then why is it so dark down-"

Too late; before he could finish, I had already jumped into the hole, holding my breath as I did so. I had expected my feet to hit the ground after only a few seconds, since the rock had, after all. Only I was quite surprised to find that I was _still_ falling, while watching the patch of daylight shrink into the distance above.

"Riiikuuu!" I shouted, reaching up towards the trapdoor. I should've listened to him - oh, why didn't I listen to him? I felt foolish and fearful as I continued to plunge deeper into the darkness below, with no hopes of landing anytime soon.

After what seemed like eons had passed - though in actuality it had probably only been thirty-seconds at the most - my fall gradually slowed, until it felt almost as if I were floating downward instead. This sensation was actually quite enjoyable, as I played around with gliding from side-to-side in the dark hole, slightly surprised by its width. Soon, I could make out some kind of platform below me. It was circular, and was glowing in florescent shades. I slowed to a halt as my feet gently collided with the platform of which seemed to be made of stained-glass, drawing in a breath with awe. I'm not sure why I hadn't noticed it from above, but not only was the platform _colored, _but it had an elaborate pattern upon it. It wasn't just any ol' pattern either, but instead it was-

"Me?" The words escaped my lips as I stared at the design incredulously, for the picture of which I had been standing on was an elaborate artwork of me, and-

"That's not accurate," a voice broke in from behind me, interrupting my thoughts. "We're not the same height."

I whirled around and grinned to find my best friend standing behind me, his turquoise eyes serious as he turned them upon me.

"Riku!" I exclaimed gleefully, racing over to him and snatching up one of his hands whist pointing at the artwork with my other. "Look at this! This is us! Why do you think there's a picture of us down here, huh?"

"I- don't know," Riku muttered softly, as he shook himself free of my grasp and bent down to further examine the platform. "But it's weird, how did this get down here, and where are we really? The whole thing is so bizarre."

A frown creased my forehead, as I crouched down beside him and ran my fingertips along the smooth, stained-glass. Suddenly, a thought hit me-

"Maybe," I began slowly, my eyes fixated upon my stained-glass face, "we're not on Destiny Islands anymore. Maybe we're in another world!"

"Another world," Riku repeated thoughtfully. "Hmm, wouldn't that be something. A world below Destiny Islands-"

"We'd be rich!" I exclaimed, beginning to think about all of the possibilities in discovering this platform below our world, with mine and Riku's picture on it. "We'd be making a massive discovery! Just think, Riku- we could go out and get cheeseburgers and ice cream every day!"

Riku sighed alongside me and shook his head, some of his silver hair brushing against my face.

"Sora, _that's_ considering that we find our way out of here," he informed me, bursting my bubble in the process. "At this point, we're on this huge platform made of glass, with no means of resurfacing. Looks pretty ominous, if you ask me."

"Ah, Riku, you're always such a party pooper," I muttered darkly as I turned my gaze upwards towards the infinite darkness above, with not even the slightest trace of our trapdoor back on the Islands in sight. I slowly turned my head to gaze upon the platform. Though it was huge, its space was still limited, and apart from the flat, smooth surface of the glass there was nothing left or right. A part of me actually agreed with Riku, but of course there was no way that I was gonna admit to that!

"Well, _I_ think that whoever set this thing up had planned for us to find it," I said, slowly rising to my knees as I stole another glance around. "I'll bet there's just some kind of trick to all of this; we've just gotta solve it."

Riku straightened himself and crossed his arms, his serious gaze dropping to the ground.

"Maybe," he murmured under his breath, though I don't think that he actually believed me.

I slowly began to circle around the edges of the platform, my rubber soles squeaking against the stained-glass flooring as I went. My mind was racing frantically as I thought back to any mystery book or crime show that I'd seen, where detectives would have to uncover secret passageways and solve mysteries such as this.

The once awe-inspiring artwork soon became dull as I made my fifth lap around it with no ideas coming to me whatsoever. Riku stood rooted on the spot, his eyes surveying the picture carefully.

"Maybe someone'll come looking for us eventually," Riku muttered thoughtfully, as if finding some ounce of hope for the first time since we'd fallen. "And they'll come looking for this trapdoor-"

"I don't know," I said with a frown. "We had a hard enough time finding it to begin with."

I let out a loud sigh of frustration and threw myself down on the glass, right smack in the middle of Riku's face.

"I give up!" I cried, throwing my arms into the air in defeat. Normally, I was always the one cheering people on and I was notorious for never giving up, but I had to admit this time I was clean out of ideas.

Riku looked thoughtful, taking a few strides to join me on his own face. He offered me a small smile.

"I never thought we'd go down this way," he muttered softly, without turning his gaze up to look at me. I shook my head furiously, tars slowly forming in my eyes. I sniffed and wiped them away irritably as I turned my head towards my best friend.

"I mean, we can't just like- be trapped down here forever, right? I mean, there's- there's-" I swallowed back against the tight knot that had begun to form in my throat, refusing to let out the sob that threatened to thrust itself out of me. Who ever thought our harmless little race could end up like this? I knew racing was sometimes dangerous, but I never would've thought that it'd cost us our lives. Sheesh!

I slowly brought my knees to my chest and rested my head against them, feeling a terrible sense of defeat overpowering me. Only moments ago, Riku and I had been racing across the sandy beach up above. Only moments ago, my only thoughts were of lunch and who'd get to sit next to Kairi next semester at school. But now, everything was different, since it didn't look like there would be any sort of homecoming.

Just as I began wondering how many years it'd take for someone to discover our rotten bodies down here, a voice rang across the darkness from nowhere that the eye could see. _"So much to do...so little time."_

"Huh?" I muttered aloud as I turned to to face Riku, who looked almost as confused as I was. "Did you hear that, Riku?"

As he began to open his mouth to respond, the voice spoke again, nearly causing me to jump out of my skin. "Do not be afraid- step forward."

I raised a brow uneasily while springing up to my feet.

"Well, okay; if you say so," I said with a shrug, as Riku slowly rose from the ground to join me. I swiftly took a few steps towards the center of the platform and shot a glance upwards. _"Okay, voice,"_ I thought to myself, glancing around expectantly, _"I'm where you said to go, now what am I supposed to do?"_

Just as I thought this, the platform began to shake uncontrollably, nearly sending me flying into Riku from behind me. I grabbed onto his arm to keep my balance, and I think my eyes must've nearly shot out from their sockets as I watched the scene in front of me unfold.

I rubbed my eyes and blinked several times, thinking that what I was seeing before me couldn't be real. In front of me stood three doors, each with an emblem engrained upon them. One was unmistakably the sun, with its radiant beams shooting in all directions, while the second door, the one that rested in the middle of the three, had a moon and sun emblem upon it. I couldn't quite make out the last one, as it didn't really look like any kind of design to me. All that I saw was a big, strange looking black blob in the center, with what almost appeared to be lightning streaks coming from it.

"Power sleeps within you...if you give it form-" the voice continued, though I still was unable to find a source for this said voice. "Choose wisely; your heart shall guide you to your inner light."

I blinked, turning my gaze over to Riku, who looked nearly as befuddled as I was.

"So...what do you think this means, Riku?" I asked him, lacing my fingers behind my head and cracking a grin.

Riku hesitated for a moment, stealing a glance towards the door with the black-looking blob, before turning his gaze back onto the sun-imprinted one.

"It's some kind of riddle," said Riku slowly as he turned to face me. "Your heart will guide you to your inner light."

I was getting a bit frustrated by that point, as I let out a sigh and glared at the three doors. My guess was that only one would lead us out of here, while the others- well, I'm not quite sure what they'd do, but I knew that I wasn't too eager to find out.

"Your heart...will guide you to your inner light-" I repeated, slowly making my way towards the door with the emblem of the sun. The echoing of my shoes hitting the glass died down, as I paused in front of it and slowly brought my hand up to the engraving.

"...guide you to your inner light..." I muttered slowly, realization beginning to hit me as my eyes widened in surprise. "Hey! Hey, Riku! I think I just figured it out!"

I turned eagerly towards my friend, my heart pounding furiously in my chest and butterflies filling my stomach. He reached me and gave me a curious look, his face remaining expressionless as I frantically pointed at the sun emblem on the door.

"Look! This is _light_!" I told him anxiously, a grin plastered onto my face. "This is what that voice was talking about, I'm sure of it!"

Riku brought a hand up to his chin, thinking about what I'd just said.

"Then, if this door is light," Riku said slowly, turning his gaze upon the final door with the black blob (for lack of a better word), "that one must be darkness."

It made total sense, all of it did: the 'light' was the door of which stood directly in front of me, represented by the sun, and our heart would show us the way to the light! From the moment the doors appeared, I had a feeling about that door of light- a warm sensation in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't even begin to explain. I knew this was the right door, I just did!

"This is it, Riku," I said cheerfully, my eyes tearing with joy. "This is the door that we're supposed to go through; this is the one that my heart had shown me. Get it? 'Your heart will guide you to the light,' it all fits into place."

Riku studied me for a minute, and then turned back to face the door of darkness.

"I- get what you're saying, I guess," he mumbled, his eyes still fixated upon the other door. "But, I've always felt inclined towards this door- though I can't explain why."

I cocked a brow, and I'm sure that my mouth was gaping wide open at him.

"No way, Riku, it's _definitely _this door," I confirmed, jerking my head towards the door of light. "Besides, the riddle mentioned your 'inner light,' not your 'inner darkness,' right?"

"True," he admitted, though I don't think he sounded very convinced. "I guess you're right. I just thought if that were the case, then I'd feel more drawn to that door, that's all."

That was certainly baffling, and I couldn't even begin to understand it. Though I usually liked to believe him, and normally I did, I knew with certainty that he was wrong- this door was the one, I just knew it.

"Look, I'm positive that it's this one, Riku," I told him seriously. "I don't know what kind of feelings you're getting from that door, but I just know this door is the one."

I pouted slightly, giving him the most pathetic look I could muster. Riku chuckled lightly, and stepped across my glass feet to return to my side before the door of light.

"Okay, if you're really sure, Sora-" Riku said slowly, hesitation filling his tone.

I grinned at him before flinging open the door. The moment I did so, light began to infiltrate the room. I was completely blinded, unable to make out a thing, since it forced me to cover my face and glue my eyes shut.

"You still sure about this door?" Riku called to me from somewhere within the sheer light.

"Yeah, you go first!" I called back, though I wasn't really sure why we were both shouting, considering the light was soundless and Riku was right beside me.

"Uhh- okay."

"Good; I'm right behind ya."

"You'd better be," Riku muttered out of the corner of his mouth, taking a few slow strides towards the door. "Or else there'll be hell to pay."

"Yeah, yeah, I am," I retorted, barely opening my eyes a crack to be able to make out Riku's silhouette standing amidst the overpowering light.

He continued to move forward deeper and deeper into the light, with me being about ten feet behind him, until suddenly, the door slammed shut. _BAM! _Just like that.

"Hey! Riku!" I shouted, bringing my fist up to the door and pounding on it. "Open up! I wanna come, too!"

It was no use; the harder I pounded, the more soundless my fists became, until the door slowly began to dematerialize into nothing by sparkles and dust on the wind.

Great, this was just great! The one door that I had a really good feeling about was gone, along with my best friend. I was now standing alone on my glass ankle, with only two ominous doors in front of me- this was just my luck.

I took a few steps towards the remaining doors, my footsteps resounding against the glass as I went. My heart had told me to go through the door of _light, _not either one of these. At this point though, I didn't feel as though I had much of a choice: it was either go out one of these doors before _they _decided to disappear, or sit there to rot on the stained-glass portrait of myself. Either way, I figured that I'd kinda be left in the dirt.

I drew in a breath as I carefully turned the knob of the door of darkness; I figured since Riku had such a good feeling about this door, then perhaps it wouldn't be so bad after all. Once I'd flung it open, I felt as though it were a mistake, as my body was sent backward by a wave of dark vibes, springing from the door and dissipating the moment it seemed to hit the platform. I squinted through the doorframe, only this time it wasn't due to sheer light, but instead the infinite darkness that was beyond. I couldn't see anything through the door; only darkness, that led on into oblivion.

I seriously didn't want to go in there, and for one brief moment I considered flinging the door shut and waiting for the empty platform to consume me. But of course, I knew that was more of a guaranteed loss than anything else so far, right?

I drew in a deep breath, as I carefully set my foot down into the doorway.

"Well, here goes nothing!" I said to myself, because hey, who else was there to hear me but me?

I squeezed my eyes shut as I crossed over the threshold, stepping into the darkness entirely. I turned around to get one last look at the platform, but found that the door had already vanished; I was now completely surrounded by darkness.

"Oh, this is great. This is just great," I muttered to myself, since I discovered that it somehow seemed to comfort me to hear my own voice. I threw myself against the wall, and groaned in my own frustration. Wait a sec- the wall?

I brought out a hand in front of me, and began patting what seemed to be a wall that I couldn't see. I tried to brace it, but the moment I tried to do so my feet no longer were rooted to solid ground, and I felt myself falling straight through the floor. Falling down...down... into who knows what else.


	2. Terrible Discovery

_**Author's Note: **_First off, a big thank you to those who reviewed! I really appreciate your support and feedback. Reviews are like my fuel for writing, so keep 'em coming! :D

Anyway, I decided that it'd be fun to switch from the viewpoints of both Sora and Riku throughout this, and so this chapter is from Riku's point of view. I'm hoping that I did a better job of portraying him over Sora, as I've always been able to relate to his character a tad better than the bubbly brunette, though I'm not entirely convinced.

Enjoy the show!

"_Beep-beep...beep-beeeeep!"_

I groaned and rolled over, completely ignoring the alarm clock that persisted on chiming. I've often times wondered if the companies that made these things only stayed in business from customers breaking their old clocks out of irritation, though I guess this theory is probably unlikely. Maybe I'm just the only one that has the tendency to throw alarm clocks in the morning when I'm mad.

_ "Beep-beep...BEEEEEEEEP!"_

As tempted as I was to chuck it out the window, I drew in a deep breath in a feeble attempt to calm myself. After all, my funds were kind of tight and I really didn't need to spend what little summer savings I had left on a new alarm clock. I don't normally just buy the cheap kind either, but I get the ones with a radio and all those gadgets attached. Yeah, I guess you could say I always lean towards "_le creme de la creme" _or whatever. It's what my dad always says, at least.

I reached out towards my nightstand, only to grab onto some lamp instead, which I knocked over in seconds flat. The dull thud resounded across the room, and my eyes darted quickly towards the door. I heard rustling outside my room, though I was hoping it was just my dad in his den rather than checking up on me. I sort of hated it when he made sure I was up in the morning. School was out of session for the summer, so it wasn't like I had school to be up for. Sure I had work, but I only worked evenings. Everyone knows that no one orders pizza before noon!

I nearly did a double-take as I stared at the door, taking in my surroundings for the first time that morning. My door isn't made of an oaken wood, nor do I have a ceramic lamp on my nightstand, nor is my room quite so _big_. I realized that I was actually lying in Sora's room; now _why _I was lying in Sora's room, I haven't the foggiest idea.

I began to look around everywhere for Sora, checking to see if he rolled off the bed and onto the floor. Then I got up off the bed to check and see if he'd rolled onto the floor and then _under _the bed, but alas, he wasn't there either. I rubbed my head dazedly, trying to recollect the day before. I'm pretty busy, so it's fairly normal for me to forget things that took place the day before, but not usually to this extent. At the moment, I couldn't even remember what I had for dinner, let alone where it was. I just remembered the strangest dream I had; the details were a bit sketchy, but Sora and I were racing and we'd ended up in this strangest place -

I was feeling somewhat annoyed, partly because I couldn't find the stupid, chiming alarm clock that was lost somewhere within Sora's black-hole of a mess along the side of his bed, and also because I couldn't figure out what I was doing in _Sora's _room, without Sora of course. I guess I must've slept over, happens frequently enough for it to be an action of insignificance to me. Only it was bugging me that I couldn't remember coming there _at all._

I let out a sigh, giving up on my search for Sora and his alarm clock, and decided to go get washed up instead. He'd probably gotten up and started having breakfast without me; that'd be a typical Sora for you.

I reached for the doorknob, only to have it opened for me by Sora's mother. She was the kind of mother that anyone would hate since she was always in everyone's business, but to me and having no mother, I loved her to pieces. She was the only mother-like figure that I had in my life, and she knew it. My dad was always working, and was relatively uninterested in my life. Not Sora's mother though - no. I couldn't keep _anything _from her, even if I wanted to. She knew when I was sad, or angry and upset, and she'd always be determined to make it better. Sora always complained about her, since I guess you could've called her a 'protective mother' if you wanted to, but I loved her just the same. I thought she was great.

She wasn't a very tall woman, nor was she very short. She had Sora's brunette hair, though probably a shade darker than his own. Her eyes were of a grayish-green color that I could only best describe as hazel, and she had soft, gentle features. She was far from plump, though I wouldn't say that she was thin, either.

I offered her a smile, which she returned with a frown as she waved her arms frantically up in the air.

"Do you know what time it is, young man?" she demanded, as I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Umm, no; actually I don't," I answered, my voice sounding awfully funny as though I were hoarse.

Sora's mom pursued her lips and rested a hand on her hip. My, I'd never seen her quite this angry before - especially at me. To Sora yes, she's given him quite an earful at times, though I have to say, each of those times Sora kind of deserved it.

"It is ten in the morning, _ten_." She tapped the watch around her wrist to emphasize the importance of the hour. "Do you remember what time you'd promised to help Kairi's family move out boxes from the old city hall?"

All I could do was stare at the woman; I honestly had no clue what on earth she was talking about! I had made no such promise! But then again, I didn't recall making my way to Sora's house last night either, so it wouldn't have surprised me if I'd made that promise in my absentmindedness too.

"What now?" I asked, scratching my head, of which she banged with a rolled-up magazine that she'd been holding.

"To help move boxes!" she shouted, an action of which caused me to flinch slightly. Sora's mom had never been angry with me before - _never. _And this was to a promise that I didn't even recall making.

"You told me at dinner yesterday that you volunteered to help the mayor move boxes from the city hall to the sea port, do you not remember?"

To be honest, I didn't, but I don't think that was really the answer she was looking for.

"Uhh, I did?" I asked, probably sounding like a complete idiot by this point. I sure as heck felt like one, at any rate.

"Yes, you did!" Sora's mom exclaimed. "I'd suggest that you march over there _right now_ and apologize for sleeping in. If you hurry they might not be done yet."

"Sorry," I mumbled under my breath, still partially confused about this promise I hadn't made. I decided that it was best not to argue with the woman, however, and instead would simply get dressed and make my way over to the city hall. After all, who could complain about spending a day with Kairi anyway?

She slammed the door behind her, causing Sora's map of the world to fall from the wall and onto his miserable pile of laundry. Gauging from its size and smell, I'm guessing that pile had been there for a very long time. I began to rummage around for my backpack, but started getting frustrated with being unable to find it after searching through the sea of odds and ends.

Sora's alarm clock had finally decided that it was pointless to keep on chiming and fell mute at last, which was a blessing to my eardrums. I was already irritable that morning as it was, and being unable to find my backpack and the screeching of the clock only made matters worse.

"Good grief," I muttered to myself as I brought my hand up to scratch the back of my head. "Where is it?"

I ran my fingers through my hair absentmindedly, and froze midway - what the-?

I grabbed a lock of hair and began to examine it, noticing the length and something about the texture just was not quite right. I nearly fell over by its hue. _It was brown! _It was brown, and a sickly shade of it, too. Everyone knows I'd make a terrible brunette; Sora even said so, and he is one. I instantly believed the culprit was Sora, only I couldn't figure out why he'd do it. He loves to kid around and pull pranks on people, but I never dreamed that he'd go so far as to alter my hair, this was too much!

I drew in a deep breath, attempting to calm my raging heart as I burst out of his bedroom door and into the hall bathroom. Not only was the color dreadful on me, but I couldn't believe that he'd go so far as to actually cut it, too. Okay, I know that most people think I could really use a haircut, but come on! I would've at least liked to have a say-so in the matter.

What I found when I reached the mirror was even worse; I would've screamed had I not been too shocked to do so.

I was sure that I was dreaming. I was sure that this couldn't be right. I brought a hand up to my cheek and closely examined myself; what ever action I made was also done by the reflection within the mirror, only the strange thing was - the reflection in the mirror wasn't me!

It was very strange to see Sora's face staring straight at me. When I raised my hand he raised his, and when I shook my head he shook his... It didn't make sense...it wasn't methodical. It wasn't -

"It's...not possible," I muttered, the words barely managing to escape my lips in the voice I now was able to discern as the cheery brunette's. It took every last ounce of my willpower to not freak out right there on the spot. I mean come on, who expects to wake up as their best friend?

It was very awkward seeing my expressions on Sora's face. It was almost as if they didn't belong there, and I know they didn't. They belonged with _me_, only I wasn't sure why I looked like Sora.

It was like a bad dream come true, or a good day gone bad, I'm not entirely sure which it was. I just knew that things couldn't stay this way for another hour, if that, and things had to be set right. I had to find the real Sora, only I had no clue where I'd find him. I couldn't ask his mom now, could I?

I didn't bother to get dressed, nor put Sora's big, bulky bright, flamboyant shoes on my feet, but instead raced down the stairs and threw open the front door. I needed to set this straight, and I wanted to do it _now._

I wasn't entirely sure where I was going, to be honest. I hadn't really thought any of this out until I stepped out the front door. I figured I'd go meet up with Kairi at the old city hall building. Since Sora was supposed to be helping them, maybe I'd manage to catch up with him there.

I walked along the sandy beach, my feet burning from the torrid sand underneath me while I looked for the obnoxious brunette that started it all. I don't know why I was still blaming all of this on Sora, since truth be told, he probably had nothing to do with it. I just felt like it, I guess.

"Hey, Tidus!" I shouted, and for a moment I'd almost forgotten that I didn't look like myself, as the younger chestnut-haired boy glanced over my way and waved.

"Hey, Sora! What's up? Wanna join us?" he asked me, raising a blitzball that he and his friend, Wakka, had been tossing around before I came up.

I shook my head. "Sorry, I'm looking for -"

Duh! No, of course I couldn't tell them I was looking for Sora! They'd think I was off my rocker, if they didn't already. Tidus shot me a curious look, as I quickly answered, "I- I promised I'd help Kairi's dad move stuff out to the sea port. Sorry guys."

Tidus's face fell slightly out of disappointment, until he turned around to face Wakka once again.

"It's alright. Tell Kairi we said hi!" he replied, setting the ball on the ground and giving it a nice, swift kick towards Wakka.

"...sure."

I shoved my hands in my pajama pockets as I quickly made my way along the shoreline, trying to get away from the two obnoxious folk as fast as I could. This whole thing was already strange, and pretending to be Sora only made it that much stranger. If I stopped right there and thought things couldn't get any stranger though, I was wrong - oh boy was I wrong.

As I swiftly made my way towards the city hall, I saw the most peculiar thing: _myself, _running down the pavement of _my house,_ in _my pajamas, _as if the bloody ghost of Christmas past himself were after me. I couldn't help but stop dead in my tracks and stare, my head spinning at a furious pace trying to process it all. If I looked like Sora, and I saw _myself _running like a banshee down the street, then that couldn't possibly mean that...

Sora was _me, _could it? There was one way to find out.

I darted over to myself and met me in my driveway, who let out a shriek at the sight of me.

"Sora, you idiot!" I shouted, knowing it was him immediately by his expression - those expressions weren't mine, and I'd seen them enough in my life to know who they belonged to. "What did you do? What's going on? Why am I _YOU_!"

If I thought it was strange to see my expressions on Sora's face, it was even stranger to see his on mine. I didn't like the way that he made me look, actually. He made me look as if I were stupid, and I wasn't like that at all. He was even going to go out in public without brushing my hair or changing my clothes! That was sure as heck rude; though then again, I didn't necessarily brush his hair or change his clothes before running out to the beach, either.

"Me?" my replica gasped, staring at me as if I had two heads. "What did I do? Who are you?"

"Don't play stupid," I snapped, so badly wanting to whack him upside the noggin, but thought better of it. "Who do you think I am?"

I stood there waiting for him to guess, but he just remained standing there giving me that vacant look that he'd have when he was acting stupid, so I gave him my _look _in return. I'm sure it looked utterly ridiculous upon Sora's face, but it seemed to make Sora get the message, as he smacked his forehead in response.

"No...no...it can't be," he murmured, now running his fingers through his (well, if you want to get technical, _my _hair). "You can't be Riku...that doesn't even make sense."

"Well, not everything makes sense," I replied irritably, feeling incapable of being nice by this point. "So, how do you think this happened, huh?"

Sora only stared at me incredulously, incapable of saying anything at all. He looked as if he might cry, though I sure was hoping he wouldn't; it's not like Tidus and Wakka were clear from view, and trust me, I could never live it down if those two caught sight of me crying. They'd let everyone under the sun know about it.

I grabbed Sora by the collar of his shirt (and believe me, it was weird) and shook him, though I sort of found that hard since he was quite a bit taller and stronger than myself at the given moment.

"Look, I hate this as much as you do," I muttered through gritted teeth in a very un-Sora-like fashion, "so let's just figure out how this happened to us so we can reverse it. Got it?"

"But- but-" Sora muttered, looking at me with a rather wide-eyed expression. "I don't know how this happened. I mean, last thing I remember was falling down that big, dark hole, and then I suddenly woke up as you, in your house and everything."

I let go of his collar as the blood drained from my face. I'd thought all of that with the platform and the doors was only a dream, but how could Sora know...?

"How do you know about all that?" I asked, my voice sounding strained as I spoke.

Sora shook his head. "Because _I _was there too, remember?"

Now this time all that I could do was stare at him blankly.

"But that was just a dream," I told him, not really sure whether I was trying to convince him or myself of this. "A really, really weird dream, but how could you-"

Until it hit me...

Sora crossed his arms and shook his head.

"You really have no imagination, huh, Riku?" he said with a soft sigh. "Did it ever occur to you that strange things happen _outside _of dreams sometimes?"

To be honest, not entirely; I always thought the dream world stayed _within _the dream, but I was beginning to find out the hard way that this wasn't the case for every one of them. Unless what I'd thought had been a dream wasn't a dream at all...

"You know what, Sora," I began slowly. "I don't think we followed the riddle correctly."

Sora tilted his head to the side and looked at me.

"We went through the door of light though, and that's what it was saying to do." The silver-haired Sora looked towards the ground slowly, his eyes darting from side to side with anxiety. "Unless...we went through the wrong doors-"

He and I were thinking the very same thing.

"It didn't tell us to go through the door of light, Sora," I reminded him, though I think he was already beginning to figure this out on his own. "It told us that our hearts will guide us to _our _inner light."

"So you mean," Sora began slowly, turning his head to look me in the eye, "maybe our hearts were telling us to go through different doors. But maybe that was the right thing to do all along."

"Exactly," I told him, relief beginning to flood me for the first time that day. "I had a strong feeling that the door to darkness was the right one for me, but-"

"But I'd thought it was the door of light," Sora interrupted, realization slowly filling his eyes. "So we went through the wrong doors."

"You went through my door," I corrected him, "and I went through yours, so we ended up...well, like this."

I thought this revelation would've made him anything but upset, though despite being an inch away further from the dark, he looked more tortured than ever before.

"This is really bad, Riku," he whined, in a tone I wished that he'd stop before it caught the attention of Tidus and Wakka, who remained kicking a ball around only yards away from us. "I can't live as you. I've got a life to run, and things to do. I can't live as you, I just can't."

"Yeah, well, I'm not any happier about it," I shot back, but instantly regretted it by the look that Sora gave me. It was a look that I couldn't describe with words, but it was one that always made me feel guilt in the pit of my stomach, even when it was expressed with my own face it still had a similar effect. I let out a sigh.

"Well, there must be some way to reverse this," I said as I slumped down on the gravel driveway, with Sora following suit. "Most everything's reversible in life, we've just gotta figure out how to do it."

Sora frowned, his eyes penetrating the sidewalk until I thought he'd burn a hole in it. I was hoping he'd manage to come up with something good, because frankly, I was clean out of ideas by this point.

"Well," he said slowly, brushing locks of hair from his face awkwardly. "If we went down the wrong doors to begin with, what if we went down the _right _doors this time-"

I didn't know Sora could be so smart; why hadn't I thought of that? In response, I smacked my forehead.

"Alright then, let's give it a shot!" I said joyously, springing back up onto my feet. Sora gave me a curious look.

"You really think it'll work?" he asked me skeptically, not moving from his spot.

"Why wouldn't it?" I replied, feeling way more energetic than I had all morning. "I mean hey, it worked the first time, right?"

"I dunno, Riku..."

"-So why wouldn't it again?"

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"Oh, come on, Sora!" I rolled my eyes and turned to face my best friend, who honestly looked nothing like him at the moment. I'll give him credit, the guy's bright, though I think sometimes a little 'too' bright for his own good.

He turned a hesitant gaze onto me, before taking my outstretched hand and standing up.

"Well, you were right the first time," Sora admitted, brushing the sand off his pants carelessly, "so you're probably right again."

I couldn't help but grin at this. Not to be an arrogant freak or anything, but Sora kind of had a point; I hadn't thought the door thing was a very good idea, and usually, I am right about those kinds of things.

_Usually._


	3. Trapped

**Author's Note: **I apologize for my long, drawn out hiatus from writing. Between working on an original novel and beta reading, I'm afraid I've had very little time to work on updates for my currently running fan-fics. As always, I would like to promise an update to come sooner than usual, though if anyone here has read any of my previous author's notes for some of my other stories you'll also know that these promises I make are in vain, hehe. So, let it suffice it to say that I'll try to do better, just no promises ;)

Anyway, this chapter is from Sora's point of view; I felt like it was a tad bit slow, though I wrote the majority of this several months ago and haven't written in the first-person writing style in some time. It's taking me awhile to readapt, but I'll get there in time (and of course, in wonderful reviews from all you amazing reviewers out there!)

As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. It truly inspires me to keep writing to know that there's someone out there who's reading my work. True, the hit counter helps with this too, but there's nothing like a wonderful, juicy review (good or bad) to make me want to pick up my pen and paper more! ;)

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><p>This was bad...this was very bad. This was really, very bad. This was worse than anything that'd ever happened to me before, and that's saying something since <em>a lot<em> of bad things have happened to me before! Like the one time when I'd dropped a fifty-dollar bill in my friend's swimming pool, and the time when my dog had snatched a pair of my underwear (they were clean, of course) and ran down the street with them. There was also the time when my bike had run me into the ditch on my way to school, and I won't even begin to recount the time when Kairi had accidentally caught me trying to break into Riku's locker, and actually 'told' him about it! I was just trying to return something to him; she didn't have to go off and tell the whole world about it like I was some criminal. Sheesh.

But this...this broke the record of 'bad' in my book, and if we couldn't figure out how to resolve it—well, I wasn't quite prepared to think about that just yet.

Riku and I raced across the sandy beach, causing dust to fly up in the air as our feet pounded against the dry sand fervently. I found the whole thing to be somewhat awkward; I mean, who wouldn't find it strange to race alongside yourself? I kept feeling off-balance, but I guess this was due to growing a foot in one night and I just wasn't used to it yet. The long, silver hair that I now had in my face was also something that was constantly irritating me, since every time I'd try to run, or move or even _breathe _the silvery stuff would get in my eyes and I'd have to constantly brush it away. I don't know how Riku can stand not getting a haircut but once a year, and even then it's mainly for trimming. My mom always tells him that he needs a haircut, and I didn't actually believe her until now. I guess I've got something new to bug him about after all this is settled.

Another thing I didn't like was my voice; it bugged me that it wasn't my own, and I purposely abstained from talking just so that I wouldn't have to hear it. Don't get me wrong, I don't think Riku's got a bad voice or anything, it's just I think it sounds better on 'him' rather than me, if you get what I'm saying. I did like the new muscles that I had in my arms and pretty much everywhere else on my body, though; except I think that's probably the only positive aspect of this that I could find.

"So, when we get down there," the Riku that was disguised as me said, "we've just got to choose the correct doors, and then we should be fine."

I swallowed hard and nodded, slowing my pace as we reached the grounds where we'd raced the day before. Riku skidded to a halt beside me, shooting a quick glance up and down the expanse of the beach.

"Do you remember where it was?" he asked me.

I nodded in response, gesturing towards the ramp only several yards away. His (well, actually 'my') blue eyes turned towards me expectantly, and I let out a sigh and began to trudge towards the spot where the trapdoor had been.

"Honestly, Riku, you have no memory whatsoever," I said, in a tone that was deeper than I'd normally use due to my darn voice being different. "I don't even know how you remember where I live sometimes."

Riku rolled his eyes, though said nothing as we trotted across the white sand in silence. The broken wood fragments symbolized where I'd fallen, and subsequently where the trapdoor had been. I made my way over and began brushing sand aside.

"It was here," I informed him. My heart began to pound furiously in my throat and chest as I furiously went away at unburying the trapdoor, Riku reluctantly dropping to the ground alongside me. We both dug until we dug up our own little sandpit when Riku finally sighed and rubbed his nose.

"Sora, it's not here," he muttered. "We would've come across it by now."

"But I could've sworn it was here yesterday," I replied breathlessly, feeling unable to take it for what it was worth that we'd already dug up the entire area where the wood fragments had been to find absolutely nothing. I jumped up, not caring in the least that I was covered in sand, and began digging frantically in another spot along the ramp. I knew the trapdoor had to be around there somewhere—it's not like it could've just disappeared...

...Could it?

Panic began to seize me. My hands ran through the fine grains of sand, without any trace of the trapdoor at all. I didn't understand how it could've just disappeared, but then again I couldn't understand how Riku and I switched places, either. Things were just going from bad to worse.

"Did you find anything?" Riku asked me. I turned my head to face him as the body that should've been mine made its way over to me. His eyes searched me over with a rather solemn expression, one that I myself couldn't mimic to save my life. "Could it've been somewhere else?"

I shook my head, feeling too upset to speak. My throat began to tighten, and I felt my eyes begin to feel hot and watery. I couldn't cry right here, not in front of Riku, and especially not over something like this. I mean, it would've been one thing if this had happened and we knew that we'd get to switch back after a day. I would've been alright with that, and probably would've even gotten a bit of a kick out of it, too. But with the way everything went down I had no idea if I'd _ever _get my body back, and I didn't want to stay as Riku forever... Not really.

I wiped my nose, pretending as if I'd gotten sand in my face. I turned away from my now-brunette friend.

"Sorry, but I guess it's not going to work like you'd thought it would," I muttered bitterly. "The door is gone, and unless you come up with any other amazing idea—which I doubt—I think we're going to be stuck this way for a long, long, _very_ long time."

Riku began to open his mouth to retort, and then shut it again. I figured he either thought I had a point, or he thought better against arguing with me at a time like this. I began to think it was something else, though, as a shadow loomed over me and Riku got this really strange look on his face.

"Uhh, hi, Kairi," he said indifferently, causing me to whirl around to see our redheaded friend standing behind me, smiling radiantly upon the two of us.

"Hi, Sora," she returned gleefully before turning her gaze onto me. "Hi, Riku. Say...what are you two doing?"

"Nothing!" I said quickly, forgetting that I was Riku, and probably didn't seem like him at all. I'm guessing that was probably why Kairi shot me a curious look. "We were just—"

"Riku was helping me look for something," Riku finished for me, our eyes locking briefly at his response. I wondered how he could seem so calm and collected _still,_ even though we were being faced with a nearly impossible challenge. I mean seriously, how on earth were we to fool Kairi? She knew us almost better than we knew ourselves, and she seemed to understand Riku better than I did. I wonder if it went the same way for him as well.

Kairi looked unconvinced, her gaze searching my face carefully, before turning to survey Riku.

"Are you sure?" she suspicioned. "You two sound awfully funny."

"Look, Kairi, it's kind of a secret, alright?" I said whilst trying to strike up a Riku-ish tone the best I could. "Why don't we stop talking about what Sora and I were doing and talk about what you were doing. I thought Sora was helping you move stuff to the docks." At this, I shot Riku a cool stare. Ha! Bet he didn't know about that!

Though to my surprise, he seemed to. That or he was a better actor than I ever gave him credit for as he shifted his gaze nervously in response.

"Sorry, Kairi," he murmured, still staring at the sandpit that we'd freshly dug up. "I guess I—forgot, sorry. Do you still need any help?"

My mouth went dry as I turned my gaze back onto our friend. I thought she was going to really let him have it, considering the way that her lips curved into a pout and her hand shot up to rub her chin. But you know what she did? She laughed; she actually laughed!

"Sure! We could still use a little help, thanks Sora!" She turned to face me, only I shifted my gaze from her before our eyes could meet. I couldn't face Kairi...not like this, anyway. "Want to come, Riku?"

My throat was tightening again, causing me to swallow hard in hopes of relieving some of the tension, which didn't help at all. All it did was cause Kairi to give me an even peculiar look, and that was really starting to bug me.

"Sorry, I can't," I muttered under my breath as I fought myself up to my feet. "I...promised my dad I'd do something for him. Sorry, Kairi."

I thought I would crack under her intense stare, since those piercing indigo eyes seemed to be able to mind read or something, and the sheer pressure of it was enough to make anyone flinch. She only nodded, and to my surprise, grabbed my upper arm.

"I can tell you're keeping something from me," she said softly, still trying to meet my eye. "But I won't force it out of you. Just know that I'm here if you ever need to talk, okay?"

I barely nodded and offered her a slight smile that I was hoping didn't come off as too cheesy for Riku. Before she could say another word, I darted off down the beach away from the two as fast as I could go without running; that kinda would've looked a tad bit suspicious. I didn't even steal a glance back over my shoulder to see their expressions; I just didn't want to know.

I'd never felt more like an outcast before. I didn't know where I'd go, or what I'd do. No one wanted me the way I was, and I didn't want to be with anyone the way I was, either. I slowed my pace once I was out of sight from Riku and Kairi, allowing myself to take a closer analysis of our predicament. I'd never dreamed of anything like this happening before, and to be honest, I couldn't have been less prepared for something like this.

I hated Riku's dad, but then again, I think everyone hated him. He was one of those kind of guys that would put on a suit every morning and smell like heavy cologne, and you'd never see him except for meals or if he was mad. I've heard tell that he's also a heavy drinker, too, though Riku's never eluded this himself. Or at least to me he hasn't, which makes me think he hasn't ever told anybody. I mean, I'm his best friend; I should be the first one to know these things!

I pretty much decided that Riku's house was a no-go, at least not until I absolutely had to go there. I couldn't go back home to my house for obvious reasons, and I had already told Kairi I had plans with Riku's dad. I let out a sigh and flung myself into the sand, miscalculating how close I actually was to the ground in the process. I fell much farther than I'd intended, which sort of hurt once I'd landed. Good grief; if I fell on my backside _one _more time...

"Riku..."

"Hey, Riku!"

"Over here!"

I'd never felt more miserable in my life. Okay, maybe that one time that I had to get a molar removed when I was ten made me pretty miserable, but this was at least comparable to that. I was stuck as my best friend forever, and needless to say, I was feeling kind of sorry for myself.

"RIKU!"

I jerked my head up to see Tidus and Wakka glancing over in my direction. Tidus, who was grinning at me like mad, was holding a blitzball in one hand. I wondered why they wanted Riku so badly? Just as I thought this, it suddenly hit me...

They thought _I _was him.

"Sorry," I mumbled through gritted teeth, hoping they'd figure I was in a bad mood and just leave me alone. They didn't seem to get the hint, however, as they continued to just trod on towards me. Wakka had that huge grin on his face that always made me queasy, and Tidus smiled over at me shyly. Tidus and I always got along better; I don't know whether it was that we seemed to have more in common, or if he was just a nicer guy, but we hit it off fairly well. There was this one summer that Riku'd gone with his dad to some foreign island off in who-knows-where, and Tidus and I hung out a lot. Wakka tended to pick on me, call me kiddo, and ruffle my hair a lot, which is why I don't think we got along as well. It's not that I disliked Wakka, we just had our disagreements, unlike Riku. He _hated _Wakka, though he hadn't been bold enough to spat this right in his face...yet.

The two boys came to a halt in front of me, and though I could tell they were staring intently at me, I refused to look up to meet their gaze. It was a weird sensation to think I looked like someone else, and for some reason this was always awakened when it came time to encounter someone.

"Hey, Riku...you busy?" Tidus asked me, tossing the ball from one hand to the other. The only reason I could tell he was doing this was the smacking sound of the ball's plastic hitting his bare hands.

I shrugged, not really sure what to say.

"Not really, I guess...why?"

"Great! Then we could use a hand, man," said Wakka in his thick accent. I _still_ couldn't figure out for the life of me where he'd gotten it from, since no one else on the islands spoke like that. I shook my head in response.

"No thanks," I grumbled, really wishing that the two of them would just leave me alone. "I'm...waiting for someone."

"Yeah, _right!_" Tidus screeched, obviously not believing me as he grabbed me by the wrists and attempted to yank me to my feet. I don't know why he didn't get that I was bigger than he was, and he probably wouldn't manage to get me very far. Though regardless of what was running through the guy's head, he somehow thought he could lift me up anyway. I let out a sigh.

"Look, you guys, I'm not the best blitzball player."

"Since when?" Tidus asked sardonically. "Last I saw you just about creamed Selphie and her gang."

Duh, how stupid could I get? Of course Riku's the better blitzball player, not me. I felt like an idiot as I stood there, lost for words. But hey, at least I didn't look like myself, right? Would just think Riku's the idiot and would never assume it was me. Not sure why I found so much pleasure out of that; I swear I'm not sadistic.

"I just am—having an off day, I guess."

Tidus shot an incredulous look over at his tall, coppery-haired friend, and then shook his head. "Okay, enough being humble, alright? You're starting to scare me."

"You'll do fine," Wakka reassured me. He tossed the blitzball at me, which hit me directly in the chest and knocked the wind out of me entirely. I think he did this on purpose though, gauging by the huge smirk on his face. I only shot him a glare.

"Just play a couple rounds with us, 'kay?" the tall islander asked—no, demanded—in his thick-accented drawl. "And if you're feeling _really _compassionate, then you can let me win a couple rounds."

I didn't see any way out of this one. I snatched up the ball that rested at my feet and swung it underneath my arm. I wasn't the best blitzball player, but at least I could take my frustration out on someone other than myself.

And the best part about it was that_ I_ wouldn't have to take the blame for being a jerk, either.


	4. The Inequality of Life

**Author's Note: **My goodness, I don't think I've had that much fun writing in a _long _time! Humor is a new field for me, though I'm enjoying every bit of trying it out. I hope to retain a humor feel for the entire duration of the story but, knowing me, there'll probably be some not-so-cheery moments as well.

I have a new writing schedule sorted out that I'm rather happy with, which will consist of a chapter update every Monday. Since I'm currently writing three stories simultaneously I intend to rotate between the three evenly, so this one will probably only see an update every three weeks until I can complete my other projects. I do hope to cram two chapters in a week occasionally, so the wait for an update might be fairly shorter. I apologize to those that have been waiting on this for a while and for the longer wait to follow, but I feel this is the only way I can give a fair share of attention to each story and audience.

Reviews inspire me tremendously, good or bad, and yours would possibly get me to update even sooner (hmm, imagine that ;) ).

A big thank you for reading!

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><p>I'll admit that things started a little messy, but quite to my surprise they really got better. For some strange reason I'd only envisioned the downside to being Sora, but I totally forgot that there might be some advantages to be had.<p>

Kairi always spoke more freely with Sora, for reasons that I can't begin to explain. Whether it's because they have more in common, or they've both got blue eyes or whatever reason was beyond me; but for the first time ever I was Sora, which meant she was just all the more herself than usual.

To be honest I'd entirely forgotten where the old city hall used to be. I didn't travel to that area of town often, so it was rather unfamiliar to me. The streets were rundown and in great need of repair, while the buildings on either side of it weren't far off. Some of the roofs had caved in after last summer's storms and yet no one even bothered to patch them back up. It was...appalling that Kairi's dad seemed to neglect the island as much as he did. With me being friends with Kairi, though, I certainly wasn't going to be the one to say anything. Especially when it didn't affect me.

Eventually we stopped outside a small burgundy-bricked building, and it took me a moment to realize where we even were. Its condition was no better than anything else on the neglected street, all the way from the rusty door-handle to the stained windows and, lastly, the torn-up roof.

"Needs some help, eh?" I couldn't help but voice. The redhead alongside me just shook her head, shrugging her narrow shoulders slightly.

"It's been old for a long time. And besides, Dad's wanting to tear this side of town up to build something new on it."

My mouth nearly dropped to the ground. "You're kidding me, seriously?"

That came as quite a surprise to me. Kairi's dad had always been resourceful; the kind of man that'd always want to patch everything up with a band-aid instead of replace it. It surprised me that he'd actually consider replacing this entire side of town—unless, of course, it finally hit that state that was beyond repair. After stealing another glance around I determined that it was certainly a possibility.

Kairi made a motion towards the front door, fiddling with the lock before finally swinging it open. Its hinges needed oiled badly, for the screeching that followed greatly offended my eardrums; it wouldn't have surprised me if Sora'd heard it back on the beach. She turned and offered me a sympathetic smile.

"Thanks so much for doing this for me, Sora." Her white teeth shone like glossy pearls, and for the first time that day I was actually grateful to be in Sora's shoes.

"Oh, uh, sure Kairi! I'm always happy to help." I nearly wanted to growl in frustration. I didn't think I'd ever manage to pull off his darn happy-go-lucky tone no matter how hard I tried! This seemed to go amiss by Kairi, who only offered me a slight smile before stepping inside the darkened building.

If you guessed the outside was an indication to what the inside was like, then you were right on. Dust bunnies lined whatever remained of the floorboards, and white paint was peeling from the walls. The "old" city hall as it was commonly referred to, only it really wasn't all that old like someone would've imagined by taking a glance around the place.

About a dozen boxes rested below an old phone jack, which I assumed had probably stopped working long before the service had gone out. I stole one swift look around the place before turning back to face Kairi.

"So, uh, these boxes, then?" I asked, gesturing towards the mound along the wall.

A smile lit up her face, and instantly I was glad that I was there in that rutty, rundown building surrounded by cobwebs and dust bunnies that'd likely give me an allergy meltdown by the time I finally got home.

"Yep, those are them," she replied. "My dad's coming back with the truck, so you can help load them up when he gets here."

"Okay."

For an awkward moment we just stood there in silence. I thought to lean against the wall, but then thought better of it. Given the state the place was in, it would've been just my luck to have the building collapse overtop of me. Eventually I gave the boxes a thorough stare, my brows furrowing slightly.

"So, Kairi, how come you still wanted me to come?" I questioned. "I mean, from the looks of it you guys are almost done, anyway."

A giggle emitted from the redhead, who brought a hand up to her lips while her cheeks reddened adorably. She was so cute when she got embarrassed: all giggly and shy, just like a little kindergartener or something.

"Because it's fun doing stuff with you, Sora," she replied, beaming over at me. "Besides, we were planning on taking you out to lunch afterwards. Didn't want you to miss out on that."

I offered her a wide smile in return. "Aww, thanks, Kairi. You really didn't have to do that, though." Her words disturbed me, and it took me several moments to finally figure out why. "You really should've asked Riku to move all these boxes for you guys, though. You know he's the one with the muscles. I'm no good at this stuff."

An odd look clouded her eyes, which caused me to nearly regret what I'd said.

"Well, I asked but his dad said he was grounded, so I didn't think he could help us out."

I just wanted to ram my head against the wall at that statement, but then I remembered the poor condition of the walls and fought this temptation.

"His dad would like him to be grounded all the time," I answered. "But next time make sure to ask either him or me, because normally he isn't."

For some strange reason no one seemed to understand what my dad was about, even though both Sora, Kairi and their parents had been with the man up-close. He was a drunk, and half the time was out of his mind. I avoided him as much as possible, because it seemed whenever I was around I just got the blame for pretty much everything. Unfair, but why should he care? I was just the poor, unfortunate kid that relied on him for practically everything, so it was relatively easy for me to take the brunt of things on all the time. It…surprised me, I guess, that no one else had noticed this yet.

Kairi barely nodded, her eyes afar like she was hardly paying attention to me by that point. Luckily we didn't have to compete in a staring contest for long, as the screeching front door swung open and in stepped the mayor of Destiny Islands.

"Hello there, Sora!" he greeted warmly.

I, being fairly used to being called Sora by now, smiled and offered my best Sora-like wave. "Hi!"

Her father wheeled in a cart that I presumed was for carrying the boxes to his truck. This should've made the trip all too easy, and I was partly surprised that she even _wanted _Sora's help to begin with.

But ah well; beggars couldn't be choosy, and I certainly wasn't!

"Does it matter the order, sir?" I asked, moving over towards the boxes and stealing a swift glance at them. I'd been wondering what was in them, but I knew better than to ask. It just seemed strange that there'd be so much important stuff hanging out in the old city hall that could've been salvaged rather than tossed.

The mayor glanced up at me, readjusting his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Why, uh, no. Apart from a few breakables on the bottom, you could do anything you wanted with them and they'd still be fine."

That was a good answer, since I dropped the first box I lifted. It fell to the ground with a deafening thump, and I probably failed at retaining the color that threatened to emerge from my cheeks.

"Wh—whoops, uh, sorry," I murmured quietly, attempting to hide my face from them as I bent down to retrieve it. I swear I couldn't believe that I actually _dropped _the box in front of everyone! I mean, come on! How lame is that? I'd expected much more strength to be had within my arms than that of what was present; it just didn't dawn on me that Sora lacked in that department and that I couldn't swing boxes up quite the same way that I was used to. Kairi just giggled, and I didn't glance up to see what the mayor's reaction might've been. He didn't make a sound, so I gauged that to at least be a good sign.

Seriously, I thought Sora had more strength in his arms than he did, and I actually began to feel sorry for the guy. Lifting those boxes proved to be quite the feat! At that point I _seriously _started to question what was in them. Some felt to be at least fifty pounds, only I had a hard time deciphering whether they actually were or if it just felt that way to me and my muscleless arms.

It took a lot longer than I thought, but we finally had the mayor's truck loaded with all the junk from the city hall. I thought it was probably the last time I'd ever see that building again, though I certainly wasn't going to mourn over it. I wasn't the kind of guy that liked change very much, but, I must say, I was rather looking forward to seeing what this area of town turned into.

The mayor came alongside me and clapped my shoulder.

"Thanks, Sora. I'm really glad that you could make it, even _if _you were a little late." He chuckled before finally letting go of my shoulder. "Let me guess…it was Riku's fault, wasn't it?"

"I—" I began, without really knowing what I was going to say. Instead of letting out words it was merely a sigh that escaped me, which also followed by a shake of the head.

This only seemed to come across as even more hilarious to the mayor, who then proceeded to tousle my hair before sliding into the driver's seat of the truck. It was only a three-seater, so Kairi and I were forced to slide into the front seat along with him. Kairi offered to sit in the middle, which I was forever grateful for. I've never enjoyed the claustrophobia of sitting between two people on bus rides really, but I found it kind of funny that she figured it out. I mean, I _was _Sora, after all, and Sora never had a problem with sitting between anyone. In fact I think he even _liked _being packed like a sardine. Who knows.

Our hands met when we'd gone to fasten our seat belts, and I felt Kairi's blush before I even glanced up to offer her a small smile. The moment of awkwardness was soon broken by her dad, who haphazardly pulled away from the city hall and recklessly drove down the street. I partly wondered if he always drove that way, or if it was just that he didn't know how to drive a truck. Both were plausible options, considering I hadn't rode anywhere with him up till now.

"So, Sora," he began after a moment. "Where's your favorite place to have lunch? Kairi was wanting us to take you out after we got done moving boxes, so I figured it'd be most fair if I asked you where you'd want to go."

I turned to offer Kairi another smile, but she was too busy fidgeting with the radio to notice. "Uh, it doesn't really matter to me." I tried to think of a place Sora would choose, but apart from him liking cheeseburgers, I wasn't sure. "Um, maybe Hamburger Heaven, perhaps?"

We used to go there quite frequently, actually, and I'm not altogether certain why we ever stopped. The servers were all nice, and even some kids from our school worked there. The food was pretty good, too, except I heard that some girl found a worm in her burger once. I mean it happens, but it seemed their business really died down after that. It personally didn't scare me away, nor did it Sora, as it used to be our Friday thing to go down and help ourselves to a burger and milkshake.

It was kind of like déjà vu when we stepped inside, only it was strange to be coming here with Kairi rather than Sora. I honestly haven't spent a whole lot of time with just Kairi before, and it probably showed in my behavior that whole afternoon. I'm just surprised Kairi hadn't caught on to my awkwardness.

We took seats at a booth, with Kairi's dad sitting across from the two of us. The place had been remodeled since I'd last seen it and, actually, I don't think they even _had _tables anymore. If they did they were in another area, since we sat in a narrow aisle with solely booths surrounding us. We hadn't been sitting for any longer than a couple minutes when a waitress came by and asked if she could get us drinks.

"Dr. Pepper, please," I said. I hadn't expected the snicker that emitted from Kairi alongside me, and it probably appeared in my expression when I'd turned to face her. "What?"

"I thought you said you'd never drink Dr. Pepper again," she muttered between giggles.

I could only stare at her in bewilderment. "What d'you mean?" I struggled to remember if Sora had any issue with Dr. Pepper, but I couldn't recall anything. Gee, she was sure making me feel like I hardly even knew my best friend.

Instead of answering, Kairi merely shrugged. "I guess you must've gotten over it."

I decided not to question her further, despite the fact that I was dying to know the reasoning behind Sora's diversion from Dr. Pepper. Last I'd seen he'd been drinking it fine, so it must've been something just recently that turned him off from it.

"I'll have a Sprite," Kairi informed the waitress, smiling as her gaze fell back down to her menu.

Since I didn't know what else to do, I decided to glance down at my menu, too. I'd already long-since memorized everything they offered, but it was better to pretend I hadn't rather than sit there and stare at everyone like some idiot. I already felt disoriented sitting there, alone, with Kairi, as my best friend, and really didn't have much desire to make it worse. Every time I tried to think of something else to say the words died in my throat. I wasn't altogether sure what my problem was, since normally I'm perfectly fine around the girl. Again, I guess it was just something about being one-on-one that made me a tad antsy.

"So, do you like this place, then?" she asked me suddenly, breaking into my thoughts as I tried to envision what a liver-and-onion sandwich could've possibly been like. I scratched my head thoughtfully before giving the place a thorough glance.

"Yeah, I like it," I replied. "One of my favorites, actually. Me and Riku used to come here a lot."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah." Why didn't she already know that? Didn't Sora tell her anything? Sheesh.

"What do you think of it?" I finally asked her, trying any attempt I could find at striking up a pleasant conversation.

Kairi merely shrugged. "Yes, it's nice here, though I prefer Mexican food over burgers, so we don't come here often."

Now that's _something_ Ishould've known. Being a Mexican food lover myself, I could greatly relate.

"Oh, yeah, me too," I replied. "I'd sooner go to a Mexican restaurant any day."

Kairi shot me a funny glance, and for a moment I'd thought there was something funny on my face. "Then why did you choose Hamburger Heaven?"

I blinked, scared to admit to what I'd just realized. "What?"

"This was your idea, wasn't it?" She giggled again, which I was slowly beginning to find irritating rather than cute. "If you like Mexican food so much, then why didn't you say so?"

I wanted to ram my forehead against the table, though of course I fought this desire and merely shrunk into my seat instead. How could I ever be so stupid? It was starting to amaze me that I was a straight A student, given my behavior all throughout that day.

"W—well," I began, thinking frantically. "I thought _you _liked it, that's why I suggested it."

A smile lit Kairi's lips, and I figured I managed to worm my way out of that one fairly decently. "You're so silly sometimes, Sora."

Before I could respond the waitress came back with our drinks, setting them down on the table before whipping out her notepad.

"Alright, can I take your guys' order?" she offered, first turning towards Kairi's dad. I actually had never seen this waitress before, but I was slightly guessing that she was beyond high school, and probably never even went to my school at the same time I did. I began to absentmindedly slurp down my Dr. Pepper while waiting for the waitress to take my order when Kairi tapped my arm frantically. This nearly caused me to choke, though I managed to swallow down a huge air bubble rather than create a coughing spectacle.

"Huh?"

She pointed across the restaurant, which kind of surprised me. Kairi was always very polite, and if she were pointing at someone, well, she must've had a really good reason for it.

"There's Riku," she murmured, and for moments I could only stare at her in utter bewilderment. I finally willed my gaze to trail over in the direction that Kairi pointed, and my mouth nearly dropped open when I saw myself walking in with none other than Tidus and Wakka. I never had much of an issue with Tidus before; he was a cute, quiet kid that usually left me alone. Now Wakka and I on the other hand… We went way back, and not in a very good way, either. We both played on the very same blitzball team, and none other than our very first match did we have a fallout. We haven't gotten along ever since.

But now you never would've guessed that we'd had a gripe with one another, the way the three of us had walked in laughing our heads off like a few loons. It was a very odd sight, though I pretended to be unfazed by this and casually smiled as they entered.

"Oh, cool. Maybe they had blitzball practice or something," I murmured, returning to my soda. "Riku's entering into that summer league thing, you know."

"Oh, is he?" Kairi asked. At first I thought she was just mocking me, until I glanced over to find her face held genuine surprise.

"Yeah." I cocked a brow. "Didn't he tell you?"

I was sure that I did at some point, since I'd been bragging to virtually the whole island about it. Every summer this one famous athlete, whose name, sadly, keeps slipping my mind, hosts a competition around the island consisting of all kinds of summer sports. Anyone over thirteen can compete, only my dad said I couldn't on my first qualifying year and I couldn't last year because I'd had pneumonia for practically the whole summer (blame blitzball).

I hadn't realized the waitress was waiting on me until Kairi's dad pointed it out, which caused me to order the wrong kind of burger by mistake. I'm not a huge fan of onions or pickles, and generally I like to ask for those to be removed from my burger. I'd forgotten this time though, since I was too distracted by the waitress's impatience and Kairi's response to pay very much attention. Ah well, I've dealt with worse. And who knows; maybe Sora's taste buds would actually enjoy pickles and onions more than mine. I sort of imagined it had more to do with the mental state rather than the actual tongue, though.

"I don't think he ever did mention that to me, actually," Kairi murmured, brows furrowing in deep concentration. "If he had it was only in passing, and I'm afraid I just hadn't been paying attention or something."

For a moment I could only stare at her, though I quickly looked away to hide the look of anguish that flooded my face. Did she actually ignore everything I said on a regular basis? I mean, I'd thought she'd remember something that I'd been so excited about, especially when over half the island knew. Maybe she didn't consider me as close of a friend as I'd always thought. That kind of hurt.

And here I thought it was going to be fun playing in Sora's shoes for a day.

Our conversations were brief, until Kairi finally asked me if I'd gotten some jacket that I'd been wanting. It was embarrassing when I could only stare at her with that blank look I'd been giving her that entire day (or, at least it seemed I was wearing that look an awful lot).

"You know, the jacket," she said, as though I was suddenly supposed to know what on earth she was talking about. I pretended to go along with it. After all, it wasn't like Sora was going to be able to correct me anytime soon.

"Oh, yeah, that," I muttered finally, not averting my eyes from my drink. "I decided to drop it, actually. It wasn't my thing."

Her eyes widened slightly, though she didn't have a chance to say anything more as the waitress came back with our food.

"Wow, that was fast," I commented, genuinely surprised at how quickly it got around to us. While my perception of time could've been slightly off since I'd been so deeply engaged in thought since she left, I could've sworn she'd only been gone for fifteen minutes before returning.

The waitress only smiled as she handed our food around casually, asking us if we'd like a refill on our drinks before disappearing again. Before unwrapping my burger I couldn't help but steal a glance in Sora's direction, just to see how he and his new "buddies" were getting along. They seemed to be hitting it off perfectly fine, all three still laughing their heads off as though they'd taken a big dose of happy juice before heading over there. I shuddered at the thought—Sora _better _not have!

I watched as Kairi carefully unwrapped her burger, removing a slice of her bun to better examine it before taking a bite. It took me a moment to realize that she must've been searching for worms, though I desperately fought my sudden urge to laugh. It really wouldn't have been nice of me, especially since they'd had a worm issue at one point, supposedly.

I stole a bite of mine, my teeth instantly sinking into both a pickle and onion simultaneously and yes, Sora's taste-buds seemed to dislike them just as much as my own. I swallowed the bite whole, though tried not to express my distaste for it by merely smiling and gulping down half my soda. Kairi's dad had been generous inviting me out to eat to begin with, honestly, and I wasn't going to cause a stink just because I didn't like pickles and onions.

Normally I don't have an issue talking. I'll talk and talk until I make everyone go ballistic and try pardoning themselves for the sake of their sanity, but today was different for me. I couldn't think up anything interesting for the life of me, and that was just downright pathetic. It probably didn't help that I was trying to think up stuff that Sora'd say rather than myself. Actually, the more I thought about it, that was probably the issue. Kairi didn't seem to have the same problem speaking with me, though. In fact, she seemed perfectly at ease despite my oddness that afternoon. Either Sora's always this way, or I didn't sound as bad as I thought, or Kairi just wasn't paying attention (surprise, surprise), but never once did she shoot me a quizzical glance or ask if I was feeling alright.

Occasionally I'd shoot a glance over towards Sora's booth, just to see how he and the other two were getting along. They had drinks around the table, and it didn't surprise me in the least to see that Sora had a chocolate milkshake. I myself am not a fan of chocolate, but boy did Sora love it. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate chocolate or anything, but I won't go out of my way to order it, either. Anyone who knew me up close probably knew that, so Sora was rather fortunate that both Tidus and Wakka didn't happen to know me up close.

Tidus apparently had said something that struck a line of humor, since Wakka instantly slammed a fist on the table and broke out in laughter. Sora had been drinking his milkshake at the time, though ended up laughing all the while…

…And that's when it happened.

I couldn't help but watch in horror as he coughed and sputtered as chocolate milkshake began oozing out his nose. It was just plain awful to watch, especially since it was happening to _me _and practically everyone in the restaurant was watching. I heard many people gasp or go "eww, gross," and I could even hear Wakka mutter, "That's just bloody disgusting, 'mon." I felt partly bad for Sora, though I couldn't help but feel worse for myself. What would everyone think of me then? Riku, the cool guy with silver hair that lets milkshake ooze out his nostrils at restaurants. Fancy _that _reputation to go along with my name. For weeks I'll be hearing people say "Yeah, y'know Riku? I saw him on a Saturday afternoon choke on his milkshake that came up and out his nose." I began to feel sick at the thought of it.

What came next seemed to be even worse. The milkshake going up the nose seemed to be more than he could possibly bear, which seemed possible, since it probably froze the back of his throat, too. Of all the things that could go up a nose I'd imagine that milkshake was likely not one of the most pleasant ones. He gagged, and then inevitably threw up.

Right there. In the middle of the entire restaurant.

I dropped my burger on the table mid-bite. By then literally everyone was watching Sora vomit, including Kairi. She wore an indifferent expression mixed between disgust and sympathy, while mine was probably purely horror. I couldn't _believe _what was happening at that table! Sora _never _threw up, so why the heck did he go and choose to do it now while he was disguised as me? Sometimes I couldn't understand why life had to be so unfair.

By then he was trembling, wiping at his nose and mouth frantically while allowing his hair to get in the mess. He quickly scooted out of the booth and darted off, all eyes watching as he disappeared from view. Many murmurs erupted along the narrow aisle, which just ticked me off all the more. Unable to take it, I asked Kairi if she could scoot off the bench and let me out.

"I want to go help him," I muttered gruffly. It was half-true, though I wasn't going to offer him the help he probably desired.

Kairi nodded understandingly, though her expression still appeared a bit miffed. She slid out of the booth and allowed me out of it.

"Okay, the show's over, everyone!" I announced irritably, catching the attention of everyone around (or, at least I was hoping to). "Go back to your meals, please."

More mutters sounded as I stormed off down the aisle and towards the bathrooms in the back of the place, but at that point I didn't care. I could tell them to quit until I was blue in the face and I highly doubted it'd make any bit of difference.

If I could manage to live down this one, then I think I'd probably be qualified to take down a twenty-foot mountain troll.


	5. My Dad: The Madman

**Author's Note: **Hmm, so this *is* most certainly a Monday. However, it is three Monday's later than I'd been anticipating putting this chapter up. Many apologies for the delay, but I do hope you enjoy this chapter. I tried something a little different for Sora this time around; I'm curious to see what you all will think of it.

As always, reviews (or is it comments now? hmm...) are always much appreciated. They brighten my day and urge me to pick up my worn-out pencil again. :)

A big thank you for reading!

* * *

><p>My legs shook under my weight as I threw myself into the men's room door. I didn't even bother heading to a toilet, the sink right beside me looked far more appealing. Before I knew it, I was heaving out the last of my chocolate milkshake down the drain.<p>

I'm not sure why I wasn't more embarrassed by this than I was. Perhaps because the scene was all too surreal for me to grasp, but most likely it was because I wasn't altogether myself, either. No one thought it was _me _out there puking my guts out. They thought it was Riku, the kid who'd likely never be caught dead hanging out with Tidus and Wakka, let alone here vomiting over a milkshake.

Over the running water I heard the door to the restroom slam. I hadn't even gotten through wiping my mouth when someone roughly pulled me by the back of my hoodie and whirled me around. For a moment I was almost caught off-guard to see myself scowling at me, but this was only for one teensy weensy moment before reality caught back up with me. I blame the milkshake and the lightheadedness.

"Why did you do that?" Riku spat, giving me a look as though he'd just like to strangle me. In a way I almost couldn't blame him; I guess I'd be pretty upset too if it were me.

"I—I couldn't help—" I began to stutter, only he didn't let me finish.

"That was _so _ridiculous, Sora. So utterly, insanely ridiculous. How on earth did you manage to choke on that milkshake? Seriously!" He threw my back against the sink. The impact of my body made the mirror shudder slightly. I gulped down a huge air bubble.

"Look," I croaked, my voice cracking by that point, "I'm sorry. I couldn't help it, though! I gagged!"

"Well, can you, like, _try _to be more careful when swallowing liquid? Especially in front of a whole restaurant? In front of Kairi?" he demanded. He still had a rather tight grip on my hoodie, which had started to make me feel sick again.

"Riku, stop! I said I was sorry!" I cried. It was bad enough that I'd done it, but it was worse to have your best friend cursing at you and pressing you against the sink of a public restroom.

We both could only stand there, glaring at one another. No words that I wanted to say came to mind and, gauging by the expression on Riku's face, I don't think the words he wanted came, either. We heard the toilet from the only closed stall flush. Riku let out a sigh, yet he loosened his grip on me so that I could once again breathe.

"I just... I just can't believe this," he murmured. He turned his back to me, running his fingers through hair that was obviously shorter than he was anticipating. I feel sorry for the guy, but I couldn't help but feel partly annoyed at him.

"Oh, yeah? Well it's not like I enjoy sitting on the sidelines and watching you and Kairi have the time of your lives!" I snapped back. For some reason I felt adrenaline rush through my veins, perhaps more than I was used to.

I guess my words had an undesirable affect on Riku, for he whirled around instantly to face me.

"We invited you, you idiot."

"But it's not like you _wanted_ me to come."

"You could've, though! It's not my fault this happened."

"It's not my fault, either!"

"What's going on, boys?"

Every muscle in my body tensed at the voice that broke into our conversation. Slowly shifting, I found our Science teacher, Mr. Bayar, exiting the occupied stall. He shot me and Riku a curious look as he casually made his way over to the neighboring sink. I glanced over at Riku, who took a very un-Sora-like pose by shoving his hands in his pockets. For the record, I _never _shove my hands in my pockets. Anyone who knows me well enough would know that. I guess that just proves Riku doesn't know me as well as I thought.

"H—hi, Mr. Bayar," Riku muttered sheepishly, color rising in his cheeks as he immediately shifted his gaze to the mirror. Our teacher continued to watch us curiously, his aged, wrinkled face contorting into a frown. His eyes moved from my imposter onto me, causing me to blink and turn away.

"Riku, you look ill...are you alright?"

"No," I murmured under my breath, "but thanks anyway."

I didn't dare to meet Riku's eye as I took off for the bathroom door. I grabbed several napkins on my way out. In all honesty, I probably should've stayed under a sink a moment longer to better clean myself up, but I'd had all the scrutiny I could handle for one day. A wipe-off with a napkin would have to suffice for now.

I darted back down the hall of the restaurant and headed towards the double-door exit. It was apparent by the dreadful silence that fell upon the restaurant that everyone had noticed my leave and were stopping to gawk at me, but I didn't care. I was just desperate to get out of there as fast as I could. I thought I heard a couple people call Riku's name as I thrust the door open, one of them might've even been Kairi. I was already halfway gone by that point, and I really didn't want to turn back for anything—not even her.

I probably wasted ten minutes circling the building as I looked for my bike, before I remembered that I'd rode there in Wakka's truck. It was an old thing that could barely run, and even had to be prodded to go three miles down the street. I'm sure he would've given me a lift if I asked him to, but I didn't _really _want to go in there again, especially after such a pronounced exit.

It was mid-afternoon, and the sun was well in the sky. It beat down on my neck and arms, and suddenly my sleeveless hoodie began to feel uncomfortably warm over my shoulders. I felt my forehead between parted bangs. It was sweaty and hot. Maybe I was getting sick; wouldn't that just be lovely.

The walk to my house was quite a ways from Hamburger Heaven. Riku, Kairi and I used to make it all the time, but that was on a pleasant day, not during a 101° degree summer afternoon. There were many streets I had to cross, most of them cram-packed with teenage couples and a bunch of other kids that I knew by face but not by name. I saw one guy with a sun-visor on his cap and I couldn't help but feel a wee bit envious. What I would do to get the sun off my face!

By the time I got home and was walking up the gravel drive I was certain that I was coming down with the flu. I was jittery, and I kept breaking into a weird hot cold-like sweat. Unless you've ever had one, it's probably hard to know what I mean. But they're annoying, and usually only something I get when I'm sick.

The trees around my house are definitely good for the shade they provide, which shielded my flushed cheeks from the atrocious sun as I stood before the front door. I fished around for my keys in my pocket, panic washing over me when I failed to find them. My tongue grew numb. There's no _way _I could've left my keys at home when I left this morning...is there?

Then I remembered...

I was in front of the wrong house.

I growled in frustration and, believe it or not, threw myself down right there on the doormat that said "welcome" in big, bold floral letters. I pounded a fist onto one of my mom's flower pots. It broke, which I guess surprised me. I didn't really mean to "break" the pot.

Instead of sit there and mourn (which, boy I could've done for a good long time), I made my way back down the gravel drive towards the street. I was really hoping I could make it back to Riku's house; I don't know what I would've done if I couldn't. Can you imagine what Riku would've done to me if he found me lying in the middle of the street unconscious? I sure as heck didn't want to.

My mouth was feeling decidedly dry when Riku's mansion loomed into view. I'm not altogether sure if you'd call it a mansion per se, but it was definitely enormous compared to my house. I guess if my dad had a fancy pants job like his, then we might consider living in a large house with a balcony, too.

It was definitely a pretty house, with a perfectly aligned picket fence running around it. Flower beds lined the front windows, though they'd been neglected from the love and care that Riku's mother showered them with. Ever since her death they'd been cared for by some person that maintenances their lawn. They were dead half the time; my guess was probably because they weren't receiving the attention they deserved. That, or the sun was just too dang hot for them to live under. I certainly couldn't blame them if that was the case.

I let out a sign as I walked up the sloped drive and around to Riku's front door, the same blasted one I emerged from earlier that morning. I sort of hoped Riku's dad wasn't home; he was certainly a grouchy fellow to be around.

I was relieved when I was greeted with cool air upon stepping foot inside the house. Normally I'd just kick off my shoes and leave them wherever they happened to land, but, because I was in Riku's house and it was superdy duper nice, I was a little reluctant to do that. Instead I carefully bent down, unlaced them, and carried them with me up to Riku's room.

I guess this was bad, but apart of me was a teensy bit excited to get to live in Riku's house for awhile. I loved my house and my family, but my house definitely had its limitations. I wasn't a rich kid that had every new technological device that'd been released, or a swimming pool in my backyard, or a game-room all to myself. Heck, even Riku's room was enormous in comparison to mine. I dropped my shoes in the doorway and glanced around, wondering where to start. On one end there was a bookcase, where I could probably find comic books I'd never seen to keep me busy for hours. Then again, on the other end of the room was a TV. Since I wasn't feeling well I could easily decide to be lazy and flip through all the channels. Knowing Riku's dad, they probably had more than we did, anyway. There was also a laptop on the inn table beside Riku's bed, but I dared not touch it. Riku was the computer guy, unlike me. Last time I'd been placed in front of a computer, well, let's just say I'd kind of broken a couple keys and froze the hard-drive beyond repair. Admittedly, no one in my family is good with computers. We don't have one at home anymore. Back when we did, my dad just couldn't figure out how to use it. My mom explained he should "hit wherever he wants to go with the mouse," and he did just that. Next thing you know, my dad's banging at the computer screen with the mouse, and even _I_, the computer illiterate kid, knew better than to hit a computer screen with a mouse!

Sometimes my family could get a little weird.

I strode over to the window parallel with Riku's bed and peered out it. Their backyard was enormous, like every other aspect of the house. A six-foot-deep pool rested right smack in the center of it, with flower pots and other random decorative objects placed outside it. I contemplated going for a swim for a short while, I even went through the trouble of pulling off my tank top and began searching around Riku's drawers for swim trunks. I was probably about midway through making a mess of his fifth drawer when I heard the phone ring outside the hall. I paused, listening to the obnoxious chime, wondering when on earth Riku's father would finally pick up, before I realized he probably wasn't even home.

I took a step towards the door. Should I really answer it? After all, it's definitely "not" for me. If anything it was for Riku, if not his dad. No one's looking for me, especially not here, of all places.

I came to the painful realization that they didn't have an answering machine anymore when it rang for the eighth time. That, or their message box was full. Considering all the full-length, wordy messages I'd have a tendency to leave before Riku finally picked up, neither would've have surprised me all that greatly.

I finally got up the courage and picked up the receiver at the end of the hall.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Riku, listen: I hope you don't have any friends over," the stern voice on the other end stated flatly. It didn't take me long to recognize it as Riku's father's.

I adjusted the receiver to my ear and swallowed nervously. "Um, no... I'm all alone."

"Good." The man cleared his throat. "Because I'm bringing a friend over later and I was hoping for a...er...good presentation."

"Uh...okay," I replied. "If you want, I'll even head out, too. So that way you'll have a nice clean present—"

"No, she wants to meet you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You're my son, she wants to see what you're like."

"Oh." Truth be told, she wouldn't be meeting his son. Just some guy that happens to look exactly like him. It didn't really matter, it's not like Riku's dad would've believed me if I tried to explain it anyway. He would've thought Riku was just trying to be smart with him, like he usually did.

"So, uh, what kind of friend?"

"Does it matter?" his father snapped. "Just comb your hair, try to wear something decent, and I'll see you in a few hours."

The phone clicked before I even managed a response. See? I told ya he's a grump.

The phone call entirely changed my plans for the afternoon. I gave up on searching for my swim attire and, instead, changed into something more suitable to meet this "friend," whoever she was. I was kind of surprised by how many shirts Riku had in his closet that didn't fit him anymore, I mean seriously! I tried on at least eight before I finally found one that wasn't three sizes too small. True, he probably could've gone through this closet much faster, since he knew what fit and what didn't, but come on! Who'd hold onto all their old clothes in their closet? Sheesh.

I decided I might as well make sure the house was "presentable" for Riku's dad. After all, I didn't want to give him any reason to attempt biting my head off. I took a broom around the downstairs, sweeping under couches and behind the TV stand because, honestly, that's all there was to clean. The house was practically spotless... Eh, save for Riku's room, but I couldn't see why I'd have to show his dad's friend in there.

Oh, man, I sure hope not!

I hadn't been sitting on the satiny living room couch for more than ten minutes before I heard a key in the lock at the front door. I instantly dropped the magazine I was thumbing through and straightened, figuring I'd better get that "good presentation" down pat. In only moments I heard the front door open and slam shut, then some woman was giggling and muttering something in a low voice. I didn't really want to interrupt, so I decided to wait there for a good few minutes. But when no one came after several, I began to wonder if they'd ever head my way. With this in mind, I pulled myself from the couch, straightened a green throw-pillow, and carefully strode out towards the foyer.

It was probably smart that I had, since it looked as though they were about to make their way towards the study, which was on the opposite end of the house. I received attention the moment I appeared in the doorframe, namely by the woman who claimed to be Riku's father's friend, only I was beginning to wonder what kind of "friends" they were. Plain ol' friends don't normally hang around their friend's neck, nor giggle in their ears and wear pounds and pounds of make-up to impress them. It was then I realized this probably was another one of his dad's girlfriends, and suddenly I was glad it was me there and not Riku. Riku had no patience for his dad's girlfriends, and pretty much tried to scare them off the moment he met them. How he did this exactly, I do not know, but generally once a girl hits Riku's house and he's met them, they never come back.

"Is this _your_ son, Nikolias?" the woman asked, wide-eyed as she gawked at me.

The way that Riku always spoke of his father's girlfriends, I'd always assumed they must be dreadful, awful people. This woman wasn't half-bad. Her blond hair fell in waves over her shoulders and down her back, yet her features were soft and friendly. She _definitely _wore way to much facial powder, but after a triple glance I started to get used to it. Her voice was kind, and I felt all warm and fuzzy at the way she smiled at me.

Okay, so Riku probably would've just crossed his arms and scowled, but I couldn't do it. Not when she was being so nice to me.

"Hi!" I greeted warmly. Riku's father shot me a hesitant glance. He was probably afraid that I'd scare her away, just like his son did with every other girl he brought into the house.

The man, who was probably at least thirty years older than the blonde, came up to me and stiffly rested an arm over my shoulders.

"Danielle, I'd like you to meet my son, Riku." He turned a frown towards me. "Riku, this is my secretary, Danielle."

I nodded before turning to offer my hand out to the woman. "Pleased to meet you."

For a moment she could only stare at me in surprise, for reasons I couldn't begin to fathom, before finally accepting my outstretched hand. Hers was sticky, which sort of surprised me.

"Likewise, Riku," she murmured faintly. "My goodness, when your father spoke of having a son, I'd pictured a little boy. But you—you're almost a man."

I wondered if my cheeks were noticeably red. My gaze dropped to the ground about as quickly as I let go of her hand.

"I'm not even quite fifteen yet," I said, in a tone barely more than a whisper.

Danielle looked even more taken aback. "Really, now? I was guessing eighteen."

I was pretty positive she was lying.

Riku's dad seemed about as tense as I was becoming, since I noticed him continuously fidget with his necktie. Once he'd finally had enough of his girlfriend praising me, he kindly suggested that we continue our little chat in the living room.

It probably hadn't made a difference that I busied myself with sweeping under the furniture and dusting off the many picture frames hanging on the walls, since the lights were so dim that no one probably noticed. The sun had nearly set, its orange rays shooting through the parted mini-blinds and streaking my hair with its hues. I stood alongside the coffee table while Riku's dad and his girlfriend settled on a couch before I took a seat in a recliner across from them.

I'm not sure how long we'd been sitting and staring at each other, but it felt like an awful long time. I suddenly began to think that my turtleneck shirt wasn't such a good idea, and I was almost positive that the air conditioning was starting to fail. I also was getting increasingly nervous of Danielle. Ever since they'd come she'd been staring and smiling my way. I couldn't help but wonder if she was always this way with kids. It was strange behavior, that's for sure.

The grandfather clock in the corner of the room chimed eight times. I decided that was my cue to speak.

"Hey, d'you want something to drink?" I offered, rising from my seat before awaiting an answer. Again Riku's father shot me a look, one that was filled with alarm. He met my eye and, after a moment, his expression eased slightly. The silver-haired man leaned back further into the silken couch and rested an arm around Danielle's shoulders.

"Sure, kid. How 'bout—"

"What do you have?" piped up the blonde.

What did I have? Now, that was one good question: I had no idea. I decided that answer would have to work.

"I honestly haven't the slightest idea," I answered. "I'm sure we've got some kind of soda though, if you're interested."

Danielle scrunched up her nose, as though someone had placed something stinky in front of her. "Only if you have diet. I'm trying to cut back."

I couldn't understand why on earth she was trying to cut back, since she looked to be in a size four already. But then again, I'd never been the best and judging that sort of thing.

"Uh, okay," I answered simply, before making a mad dash for the kitchen. In my haste I tripped into a coffee table, which nearly sent a rather expensive lamp crashing to the floor. Riku's father shot a hand out to steady it, not without giving me a rather curious glance. I grinned sheepishly, not stopping as I continued on my way to my sanctuary: the kitchen.

I stood there for several moments. I always got a little dazed in their kitchen, but not just because it's huge compared to ours. I can't even begin to tell you how many cabinets lined the walls. And never, not once, could I find what I was searching for. I wasn't sure how I would manage to conjure two sodas.

I decided to try the fridge first. Empty. Or, rather, most of the way empty. Riku's dad never kept much food in the fridge; I don't know why, exactly.

My next target was the pantry door, which I swung open mercilessly. Cram-packed. But, alas, not of what I was searching for. I let out a sigh as I shut the door noiselessly. What was I going to do?

That was when my eyes flittered over towards the sink.

Okay, I know normally it's bad to offer guests water, especially when you're believed to be rich and must have at least a hundred cans of soda to pull out of your refrigerator. Somehow I managed to reason that Riku's dad wasn't normal, and that a glass of water would just have to suffice. I selected two decorative glasses from the cabinet and filled them with water and ice. I only hoped Riku's dad didn't break it out of irritation towards me—I've always heard the man has temper problems.

I dashed out of the kitchen, down the short carpeted hall and back into the living room, only I was careful not to spill anything along the way. I met Danielle's eye and smiled.

"Sorry, it was all regular soda," I replied smoothly, thrusting a glass haphazardly towards Riku's father before carefully handing Danielle the remaining glass. "I hope water'll be okay."

I don't even know if she noticed it was water, or if she even heard me at all. Instead she accepted the glass as though I were offering her gold, and gave me a very wide smile.

"Thank you, sweetie," she said. "You must be a great help to your dad."

I stole a glance over my shoulder at the man, though he purposely avoided making eye contact as he sipped at his ice-cold drink. "Um, maybe sometimes, but not really."

"How modest of you," she murmured, shifting to rest her untouched glass on the coffee table before turning back around to face me. "So, tell me, Riku: you play sports, right?"

"Yep," I replied. I was sort of hoping that she wouldn't ask me any details, because I honestly didn't know enough about any sports to be able to quote anything. Not that she'd know anymore than I did, so I probably would've gotten away with at least a small stretch of the truth. "Blitzball."

"Really, now?" she asked, her eyes widening. "I just love blitzball. I used to be a cheerleader for my school team back in high school. Which team do you play for?"

"Um..." I desperately glanced over at Riku's dad, who looked downright annoyed by this point. I was so grateful when he cleared his throat, straightened himself, and turned to look the woman straight in the face.

"I'm glad you guys are hitting it off so well," he began, "but we'd best hurry if we want to have dinner at—"

"Oh, calm down, Nikolias. Nothing's running away from us! If all else fails we can have dinner here, especially now that I feel bad Riku'll be here all alone."

Riku's dad shot me a threatening look. Even though I hadn't been up-close with the man long, I already knew what it meant. "Nah, it's fine. Don't worry about me. I'm going to head over to a friend's house anyway."

Danielle waved a hand, as though disregarding my words. "Don't worry, I won't let your father leave you out on anything fun." She let out a laugh that no one else joined in with, before nudging Riku's father in the ribs. His eyes narrowed dangerously towards me. I needed to think fast.

"Hey, d'you want to play a game?" I suggested mildly. This time both adults stared at me as though I were crazy.

"A game?" Danielle repeated, as though she couldn't process my words.

"Yeah, a game," I stated flatly. "Y'know, like Monopoly or Clue, or—or—something."

"Do you play Chess?" she asked me, curiosity dancing in her blue eyes like flames.

Riku's dad let out a soft sigh, his left hand fleeing for his temples. I shook my head.

"Sorry, I actually don't," I replied. "Wanna play Crazy Eights?"

"Crazy Eights?" she gasped. By the look she gave me, you would've guessed she thought _I _was crazy. I glanced over towards Riku's dad for reassurance, but he wasn't looking at me anymore.

"Uh, yeah. Want to play?"

I think I must've disappointed her, but she agreed to my offer nonetheless. It didn't take me long to retrieve the deck of cards from Riku's nightstand because, for once, I actually knew where they were. I quickly shuffled them and began dealing out to Riku's dad before he slammed a palm against the coffee table. I let out a gasp in surprise, and the blonde's gaze managed to snap away from me and onto the man.

"W—what—" I began, but Riku's dad interjected before I could finish.

"Never mind, that's it. Danielle, we're leaving," he muttered shortly, abruptly rising from his place on the couch. He extended a hand towards her, yet she only stared at him.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "You don't want to play Crazy Eights anymore?"

"I don't think I ever said that I _wanted _to," he replied coldly. "If you don't want to come to dinner with me _now_, then I suggest we call this whole thing off."

Anger flushed Danielle's powdered face, her eyes flashing daggers at Riku's father. "That's so rude! It's as if you don't like the company of your own son."

"Forgive me, Danielle, but I don't prefer to invite my son into my love life—"

"We're just playing Crazy Eights."

"_We never started playing, and never will."_

"Okay, you don't have to play." She turned her back to him so that she was now facing me directly. A gentle smile spread against her lips as she turned her dark blue eyes onto me. "Riku and I'll just play."

This seemed to be the last straw for Riku's dad. "Oh, no you two won't."

My horror probably displayed on my face. Riku's dad grasped Danielle by her upper arms and began leading her out of the room. I heard a few protests spoken by the young woman, though he seemed not to pay them any heed whatsoever. I heard the front door open, Riku's dad shout something, and then the door slammed shut. I don't know why, but I instantly felt as though I didn't want to be there.

In only a few seconds flat, Riku's dad returned to the living room where I sat on the floor, stunned. He drew in deep rasping breaths, his nostrils flared as though he were utterly peeved with me. I obviously had done something wrong, though I was hard-pressed to figure out what.

For moments he merely stood there, his arms crossed over his chest as his eyes angrily bore into mine. Finally he spoke, and when he did his voice was loud and made me leap back in surprise.

"What was _that_?" he snapped.

I searched his face confusedly. "What was what?"

He shot me a glare before shaking a fist in the direction of the foyer.

"_That!_" he snarled. "What sort of game do you think you're playing, boy?"

I scrunched up my nose, shifting my gaze onto the coffee table with the cards only half-dealt. I brushed my hand along the table to collect them and picked up the deck.

"Crazy...Eights?" I replied shakily. I had a feeling that wasn't the answer he was looking for, and by the way that he lunged at me to grasp the front of my shirt I knew I wasn't mistaken.

The look on his face was positively terrifying. Never in my life had I seen my own father look so angry. I knew Riku didn't like his dad, but he never really went into why. I think I was beginning to see his reasoning. This man was not only grumpy, but had a serious anger problem, too.

"No!" He shoved me, causing me to fall into the love-seat behind me. I didn't dare get back up, but instead watched the man with terror-filled eyes. "You think you're just the best, don't you? That you're just too great for any girl to pass up, even _if _she's old enough to be your mother!"

"W―what?" I rubbed an eye. "What do you―"

"Don't play dumb with me, Riku!" He slammed a fist into the coffee table, knocking Danielle's untouched glass of water on its side. Droplets of the clear liquid beaded along the table's edge before finally dripping down to create a puddle on the laminate flooring.

I drew myself up, smoothing down my shirt apprehensively. "I really don't know what you're talking about."

That was the wrong answer, apparently.

Before I could see it coming, he tore the deck of cards from my hand and threw them up in the air. It looked like a big sprinkle of confetti, only ten times the average size of the real stuff. They flittered onto the ground, some landing on my head while others landed in the puddle on the floor.

"You shouldn't have flirted with her!" he snapped. "How dare you! You're a _child_, she's a _woman_! What part of that do you not understand?"

"I wasn't flirting with her!" I croaked. "Besides, she's not my type, anyway."

Every time I opened my mouth to make things better, it only seemed to make matters worse. Riku's dad made a motion to grab me by my shirt again, only this time I jerked out of the way.

"Yes, you were and you know it!" he roared. "That was totally unacceptable!"

I could've continued to argue with him, but by that point he was looking pretty dangerous. I scrambled to my feet. While I backed towards the wall, the silver-haired creep continued to inch towards me. I'd never really realized how much Riku looked like his dad until then, save for his nose. Well, and the goatee, of course.

"S―sorry?"

Riku's father laughed, though it wasn't one that indicated he thought what I said was funny. No, this was a sarcastic sort of laugh, one that made me realize I was in deep, severe trouble. I gulped painfully.

"Oh, you think 'sorry's' gonna cut it, do you?" He continued to edge closer to me. My eyes darted around for an escape, which would've been a narrow one―literally narrow―between Riku's dad and the recliner.

"Well, let me tell you some news: sorry _isn't_ good enough to cut it."

Now, if I leapt "into" the recliner and made my way around him...

"It's time that you learned your real place in life, and not the―"

I had to give the old coot credit, he was fast. Far faster than I'd anticipated. But I was still quicker. The moment he'd lunged for me, I leapt onto the recliner and landed cat-like on the floor. I heard the man's footsteps head towards me, but I didn't stop to glance in his direction. Instead, I darted down the hall and towards the winding staircase. I'm not sure if Riku's dad was still following me, but I didn't want to take any chances. I got the feeling his dad could get scary.

My feet pounded against the laminate flooring of the game-room as I further advanced down another hall before finally arriving at Riku's door. It was then I heard the heavy footfalls behind me, and I knew I wasn't alone. I bolted inside and threw my body weight into the door to shut it. For one intense moment I still felt I wasn't safe, until I noticed that Riku's door, gratefully, possessed a lock. I immediately turned it, yet I still didn't back away from the door.

My breaths came in fast and hard. I heard his father approach the door. He pounded a fist against it, causing me to shudder against the wood. I silently prayed that it would hold up from all the force it was being put under.

"Riku, you'll open this door _now_. Do you hear me?"

I actually wouldn't have been surprised if Riku could've heard him all the way from my house.

More pounds and shouts ensued, but there was no way I was letting that crazy guy in the room! With his current fit of rage, I wouldn't have been surprised if he simply attacked me.

Finally the pounding stopped, and I heard Riku's dad shout something before footsteps moved away from the bedroom door. I let out a long sigh of relief.

I'd been so scared that I didn't even notice the tears welling up in my eyes until then. I wiped a hand across them, but, strangely, their flow only grew heavier. I flounced onto Riku's bed. It was actually smaller than mine, unlike everything else he owned. I instantly seized a pillow and buried my face into it, letting out the tears that'd been threatening to consume me all day.

I never really realized how lucky I'd been until just then. At least I didn't have a madman for a father.


	6. The Three Little Hellions

**Author's note: **I'm back a little sooner than usual. This was written on a whim, so I'm not quite sure how it'll compare to previous chapters. If you're feeling like you're having a rough day, read this; it might very well change your perspective. ;)

* * *

><p>I loved helping Kairi, especially when it meant spending time with her, but I wished that I'd considered what I was getting myself into. Kairi's dad dropped me off at Sora's house a little after dark. And Kairi, being the sweet friend she was, walked me to the door. It was there that she gave me a hug, said she'd had a great time, and asked if I would help her babysit on Sunday. And me, being the kind of guy who'll do just about anything if you stroke my ego, agreed. Who I would babysit and for how long, I didn't know. It hadn't matter at the time. All that had was the wide smile that lit Kairi's face, the kiss she planted on my cheek, and the promise that she'd pick me up at three in the afternoon.<p>

I'm not sure if it would've stopped me if I'd known we were to babysit Selphie Tilmitt's three kid siblings. I also couldn't say whether staying there till ten at night would've made me bow out. Regardless, these details didn't come until I was sitting upfront in the truck of Kairi's father, once again packed like a sardine against the passenger door.

"So... How old are these kids again?" I asked her. We hadn't been more than fifteen minutes down the road, and already I was eager to greet Sora's house again. I'm very inexperienced when it comes to kids, particularly small children. It's not that I mind them. They're cute and whatever, but I'm just not, well, babysitting material, you could say.

Kairi looked up from her handheld mirror that aided her make-up appliance. A frown pinched her forehead.

"I...can't remember for sure," she answered thoughtfully. "I know they're all stair-step kids. I think the oldest is eight."

I wanted to ask her what she'd meant by "stair-step," but we'd already pulled up in the Tilmitts' driveway and the opportunity was taken away from me. Their house wasn't small, but it wasn't all that big, either. The lawn was well manicured, and they had a veranda on their front porch. I'd always loved the look of those things. We had one back when I was young. I hardly remembered it, though, because my dad took it out shortly after my mom passed away. He said the wood rotted, but I think it was because it held painful memories of my mother. Overall, I guess it hardly mattered. What's gone is gone.

The moment Kairi tapped a finger on the doorbell my heart sank into the pit of my stomach. I heard a dog bark, along with several voices screaming in unison. It sounded like an army of thunderous bare feet pitter-pattered along a hard floor. When the door was flung open by a flabbergasted Selphie, my suspicions were confirmed; the floor was a wood laminate, except the army was smaller in number than it sounded. Three children stood around the tall, lanky brunette. I wondered if the youngest was sick. They all looked rather eager to greet us. One of them, a scrawny boy with tousled blond hair, leapt up and snatched my hand.

"Sora!" the boy cried. If you can believe it, I almost looked over my shoulder and questioned when Sora'd arrived.

I didn't think I would ever fully grasp the whole switcheroo thing.

I was literally pulled into the house. It smelt strongly of something, but I had a hard time discerning what. It was a combination of mold and cookies. A part of me didn't even want to know.

Amazingly, Kairi managed a smile as she enthusiastically greeted all the small children. Whether she noticed the odd smell, I've no idea, because she certainly didn't show it. That was Kairi for you; your total optimist. I guess I could see why everyone thought to pair her and Sora together. They had a lot of similarities.

The one-story house itself wasn't bad, except for the formal living room looking as though it'd just survived a nuclear explosion. A pillow had burst, leaving feathers to coat the couches and line the carpeted floor, and a bag of pretzels had been dumped in a crunched pile at the foot of a recliner. I was about to ask if this was a usual occurrence but, gauging by the panic-stricken look upon Selphie's face, I was guessing not.

"Thanks so much for doing this for me, Kairi," Selphie gushed, shutting the front door and turning to face us. "I'd totally forgotten that Tidus's party was today when I'd offered to watch the kids this evening."

Another broad smile lit Kairi's face. "It's not a problem. I'm glad that we could help."

As if noticing me for the first time, Selphie shot me an incredulous look. I've no idea what it was supposed to mean, nor did I care all that greatly.

"And I'm glad that you brought Sora along with you, too. I mean, the kids are normally great"—I shot them an uneasy glance—"but an extra hand can never hurt."

Actually, I thought me and Kairi would need four extra hands, but I didn't state this aloud. Instead I mimicked one of Sora's signature smiles and threw my hands behind my head, like he always did.

"Sure thing, Selphie! I'm sure we'll all have a great time!" There! I think I was _finally _starting to figure out how to pull a Sora off. I was rather proud of myself.

"Anyway," the teenage brunette continued, "I should be back around ten...but my parents'll probably beat me home."

"That's fine," Kairi waved a hand dismissively. "I hope you have a great time!"

The girl flung open the front door, shot us a grin and waved at her siblings before shutting us in what would be our prison for the next six hours. Gauging by the eery smiles exchanged between the three kids, I knew that I'd be in for one of the most interesting evenings of my life.

Once I'd regathered my bearings, I clapped my hands together and turned to face the kids. "Well, it's good to see you all again! Boy, it sure has been a while, hasn't it?" No one responded. I don't know what I'd been expecting them to say, exactly, but the silence that followed my words just made me nervous. "So, uh, I'm afraid I don't remember exactly how old you are anymore, or even some of your names."

"I'm Celes!" the girl volunteered. "And I'm eight!"

An eight-year-old. She couldn't be too terrible to handle. But when she opened her mouth again, I began to second guess myself. "That's Simon, he's five"—she gestured towards the only blond kid, and then jerked a finger towards the other child—"and Locke's three. He's potty-training."

"Oh, I see..."

Kairi couldn't have saved me at a better moment. "That's great, Locke! Do you like going on the potty?"

His reaction wasn't one that I'd been expecting. Instead of beaming with pride, the boy's face turned from red to purple in less than ten seconds and he let out a deafening cry, one that I'm sure the neighbors could hear clear down the block. The scream made Simon cry, which prompted the family's pet chihuahua to go haywire. I'd always hated those yippy dogs. They just won't shut up, no matter what you threaten to do to them. We had a neighbor who had one once. From sunset to sunrise the thing would constantly bark. After about a week, my dad finally stormed to their house in the middle of the night to have a talk with the dog's owners. After that I never heard the dog bark again.

We'd only been watching the kiddies for the past ten minutes, and already things were starting to get ugly. In an attempt to kill two birds with one stone, I turned to the eight-year-old and smiled.

"Hey, do you and Simon want to play a game?" I asked her.

She tilted her head to the side, looking me up and down while contemplating my offer. Locke was still throwing a fit in the middle of the foyer, but at least he started to calm down some once Kairi suggested they go "see about some cookies."

Finally, Celes looked at me and grinned. "Okay! what about Simon Says?"

"I get to be 'Simon'!" piped up the blond boy. This triggered a response from the youngest, who chanted 'Simon' and drew himself up from the floor. I looked at all of them and scratched the back of my neck. For some reason, Simon Says wasn't the game that I had in mind. I was thinking we'd play some quiet board game like Candy Land. Already I could envision the fights that would ensue.

And fight they did.

"But that is _so _unfair, Simon!" Celes squealed, stamping her foot on the ground. "How come you always get to be Simon?"

"Because I _am _Simon, you idiot!"

"Hey! watch your language," Kairi warned, but her voice went unheard when Locke squealed something and disappeared from view. I let out a groan and leaned against the wall.

"Alright, look," I began, shouting to be heard over the chaos. "Since none of you can agree, how about _I _be Simon?"

The two older children cocked their heads and stared at me. You would've thought I'd just sprouted an extra head. Sometimes the girls at school would stare at me like that, but that was another case entirely. Finally, Simon relented.

"Alright, you can be Simon," he said.

I shot a glance at Celes, who merely shrugged and threw her hair back. She reminded me a little _too _much of her older sister.

"Okay, guys, to the family room!" I announced.

I marched into the family room at the back of the house, mainly because I was hoping we'd run into something fun to play on the way. Maybe aTV set, Foosball table, _anything_, but I was unpleasantly surprised to find a couch, rocking horse, fireplace, and no Foosball table. A television set did stand on top of a double-doored video cabinet, but the wires poking out all over the place indicated that it wasn't in any condition to be watched anytime soon. And certainly not that evening.

Celes must've noticed my puzzled glance towards the spiderweb-like mess covering the dusty TV screen, as she turned to me and said, "The TV's out of order."

"I wondered maybe," I murmured quietly, hoping my disappointment wasn't coming out too thickly in my tone. I walked across the room in a couple strides and flung myself onto the couch. It was made of suede, and oh, was it heavenly! I sank into the cushions the moment I sat down, and already I didn't want to move. I figured since I was Simon I wouldn't have to. That was until the two children walked up to me, grinning like mad. I knew what those smiles meant.

"We're going to play slightly different," Celes informed me.

I blinked. "Different? How so?"

"Well, you're still going to be Simon," Simon said, "but you have to do what _we _tell you to!"

This was going a bit too far.

"Whoa, hold on a sec," I started, sitting upright from my plush cushions that I'd claimed like a throne. "I don't think that's gonna work—"

"Why wouldn't it?" Celes insisted.

"We always play like that," Simon added.

I raised a brow suspiciously. "You sure about that?" The two nodded simultaneously. "Alright, in that case one of you be Simon. I'm buying out."

I realized that was a big mistake. Both kids started wailing, throwing their arms in the air and screaming a bunch of jumbled protests that I couldn't make out. I stood up and waved my arms in the air. "Alright! Alright, already! I'll be Simon!"

The moment they stopped I realized it was just all a rouse. Both grinned at me from ear to ear, and neither kid shed a single tear. This probably shouldn't have gotten me all bent out of shape, but somehow it did. I slumped over to the other side of the living room, and the two kids claimed my seat on the couch. I watched them irritably, as though waiting for my master to demand I perform acrobatic tricks.

"Okay, Simon, do a cartwheel!" Celes said in a loud, clear voice.

It was probably a good thing that I was there and not Sora, since I didn't know if he even _could _perform a cartwheel. Luckily I'd taken a little gymnastics around the time I'd tried out for the blitzball team, so I was able to pull one off fairly adequately. I didn't even receive applause when I was done, just another demand instead.

"Simon, jump off the couch."

Fair enough. I leapt beside Simon, which caused him to laugh hysterically, and jumped off the couch and landed like a frog.

The commands kept coming, and I continued to obey them. The kids were quiet and relatively happy, so I figured it was worth it. I had no idea what kind of an idiot I must've looked like, but at the moment I hardly even cared. Kairi was off doing who-knows-what with the little Locke. I reasoned that even if she found me I'd just look like Sora anyway. And, for some reason, this game totally seemed up that happy-go-lucky kid's alley.

"Simon, do a happy dance!"

That one made me stop dead in my tracks.

"What?" I repeated, even though I heard the command loud and clear.

"Do a happy dance," Celes repeated.

I tilted my head to the side. "What's that?"

Simon shrugged. "Y'know, just dance."

"And be happy."

I was relatively certain these kids were crazy.

While I contemplated what kind of dance I could possibly offer these two maniacs, I heard screams coming from the kitchen. They were too high-pitched to be Kairi's, and it wasn't until I saw the family dog enter the room with Locke's underpants on his head that I knew something was going terribly wrong on the other end of the house. I sighed before finally relenting.

I started spinning around, then I decided to entertain the kids a little more with some skips and hops. Of course this wasn't a real dance that I was performing, but they couldn't have cared less. The two started to squeal and clap their hands. Simon even began hopping up and down on the couch. As much as I hated to admit, I was starting to actually have a little fun. I had a thing for music, and dancing was sort of one of those things that went along with it. It didn't take long for Simon to slide off the couch and join me. I don't know what got into me when I grabbed the kid's sticky hands and began to dance around with him. First we spun in a circle, and then we did a little tap-like dance. Celes couldn't resist joining for long. Before I knew it, the three of us were laughing like lunatics and dancing around the living room as if there was no tomorrow. We were lucky that the floors were laminate. Carpet would've been much harder to slide across in stocking feet.

So, there we were, dancing up a storm, when squeals bounced off the hallway's walls and entered our room. A Locke, dressed solely in his underwear, darted between us. It threw our dance off entirely. Celes even tripped over my feet and spiraled to the floor. I only caught a glimpse of Locke's tiny form disappear in the guest bathroom and slam the door. The click of the lock followed only seconds later. I glanced over at the only other sane person in the room, and I daresay she looked worse than I did. Kairi was frantically running her fingers through her short auburn hair, her eyes the size of sand-dollars as they met mine.

"Could you check the kitchen?" she asked me.

Before I could ask_ why_ I should be checking the kitchen, Kairi had already rushed off, mumbling a simple "thanks" in the process. I pressed a hand to my forehead. The two remaining kids were still watching me with what seemed to be great interest.

"Uh, we'll resume this in a second," I announced, backing into the doorframe of the living room. "First I've got to go check on the kitchen."

Celes tilted her head to the side, an expression that was truly starting to bug me.

"How come?"

I froze, contemplating my answer. "Just...well, because."

She opened her abnormally large mouth again, but I didn't stick around to hear what she had to say. That moldy cookie smell was beginning to get stronger, and suddenly I thought I knew why I was supposed to check the kitchen.

I found myself supporting two additional shadows as I turned the corner into the cram-packed kitchen. It had a nice layout, but I thought it wouldn't have hurt it to be about twice the size it was. After the table took up half the kitchen, there was hardly enough room for one person to walk between the island and the stove, let alone three. I came to a halt in front of the oven, my two shadows bouncing into me. I shot them a wary look over my shoulder.

"Careful, this's hot," I cautioned. They seemed to understand my words well enough, since they both bound towards the table. I opened the oven door. A billow of smoke escaped the confined space, and inside I found myself looking at a tray of deformed cookies. To the cookies' right rested another tray, this one of chicken nuggets that had been burnt to a crisp. I guess I'd been half-right about smelling cookies. Hopefully the chicken nuggets weren't moldy.

It took me a minute to source out a potholder to remove the oven's contents onto the stove. By then my audience had returned, each of them standing on chairs to get a clearer view of what I'd been working on. Simon's face fell.

"Our cookies are ruined!" he cried.

Celes held herself together much better than her brother did. She merely crossed her arms and watched me scrape them off the tray and into a cookie jar bemusedly.

"Selphie didn't use enough baking soda, anyway," she said, in what seemed to be an attempt to soothe her little brother. "Don't worry, we can make another batch."

I tried to ignore that statement. No one could've possibly offered me enough money to bake cookies with _those _two hellions.

"I think they might still be edible," I lied. "Why don't we just let them cool off first? Besides, we've got to eat dinner soon, anyway."

"We're not eating _those_, are we?" Simon asked. He pointed a finger at the tray of burnt chicken nuggets. They were still smoking.

"Nah, definitely not those," I reassured him. I simply decided to scoop those into the garbage. While I'm a firm believer that ketchup can make almost anything edible, I thought those chicken nuggets were beyond salvageable.

Kairi came in just as I was shutting the lid to the trash can, empty tray still in hand. She shot it a quizzical look before glancing towards the trash. It seemed that she must've understood, since she didn't even question me as she went on to say, "We need to make a new plan for dinner."

Instantly the kids started shouting suggestions.

"Enchiladas!"

"Lasagna! Lasagna! Lasagna!"

"Nachos!"

"No, how about pizza?"

"I said I want nachos!"

"Lasagna! Lasagna! Lasagna!"

I held my head and watched them in horror. This was going to be a nightmare unless I thought up with some rocket-science plan. I sure wished Sora was there; he probably could've come up with one.

"I don't think we have anything like that," I shouted over the chaos. "Let's see what do have, alright guys?"

All of them pouted, except for Locke. He didn't seem to really care. He only seemed to be shouting just because everyone else was. I waited for Kairi to announce our new dinner plan, but I hadn't been expecting her to glance at me and wait for my suggestion. Since when had I ever been in charge? That was usually Sora. But, well, I was kinda in his shoes, so I guess I got the role of leader along with everything else I acquired from him.

I stole a peak inside the fridge, and almost immediately closed it in fear of things falling out. Never in my life had I seen a refrigerator as full as that one! There were at least three gallons of milk, juice, and containers upon containers of leftovers. I was tempted to pull them all out and go through them, but, since one of them seemed to be turning green, I wondered if any of them were still even good. Other odd things were stacked up in the fridge, too. Such as opened soda cans, a half-eaten plate of food, some ziplock bags of stuff, and a pan. I didn't open it to see what was inside.

That'd been interesting. I shoved a hand in my pocket and felt around. I had some cash, and the thought of ordering a pizza was beyond tempting.

I turned to Simon and grinned. "Hey, weren't you the one who said you wanted a pizza?"

His eyes lit up instantly. "Yep!"

"Well, let's get one," I replied, whipping out my cell phone and preparing to dial the local pizza parlor's number. I'd ordered a lot of pizzas in my lifetime and, sadly, I'd memorized their number long ago. Kairi shot me a quizzical glance, but didn't say anything. Locke had gone off and disappeared somewhere, and Celes was stomping her feet again and demanding nachos instead. I couldn't help but shoot her a glare as I put the phone to my ear.

"We're eating pizza, and that's that," I told her firmly. "If you want something else, then go fix it."

I wasn't at all surprised when she failed to make anything herself.

The wait for the pizza was torturous. Then again, waiting for pizza usually is. It's like waiting for your food at a restaurant. You place your order, and then count down the seconds before it's brought to you. When you're sitting with friends and sipping soda, this wait isn't quite as monotonous. But when you're watching three kids who are bouncing off furniture, trashing throw pillows and dumping pretzels by the bag on the floor, this wait seems slightly longer. I almost couldn't wait for the pizza dude to arrive at our house so I could sit them all down at the table. At least there it seemed they couldn't create too much mischief.

Or perhaps I was wrong.

Kairi and I both jumped at the sound of the doorbell, along with the other three kids in the room. They bolted from the living room to the front door as if in a race. I couldn't believe my eyes when one of them swung open the front door. The pizza delivery guy wasn't much older than me. He looked utterly confused to be greeted by two young kids, a toddler and a chihuahua.

"Erm, are your folks home?" he questioned cautiously.

"No, but I am," I replied, stepping in between the dog and toddler to make my presence known. The delivery man still looked uncomfortable, only I couldn't understand why. It's not like I didn't pay him. In fact, I was feeling extra generous and gave him a rather large tip. I don't think he noticed, since he didn't even bother counting the bills I handed him. He just stuffed the cash in his pocket, told us to enjoy our food, and away he went. I figured he was probably about as eager to get out of there as I was. With the screaming fest that was going on, I couldn't blame him any.

I held two warm pizza boxes in my arms. Strong wafts of pepperoni and onions filled the air, immediately making my mouth water. I turned to face Kairi and grinned. She'd been a great sport throughout that hectic day. I probably left most of the load on her, yet she took it graciously and still had smiles for everyone. The only time she raised her voice was once to be heard, yet she never replaced her calm demeanor with irritation. I couldn't help but wonder how she did it.

After what seemed like eons had passed, we all gathered around the kitchen table and stared at the pizza boxes. Kairi had somehow managed to coerce Celes into passing glasses and plates around the table, while I got the two boys to wash up. My dad never cared whether I washed my hands before meals, but I knew it was a rule in most households. Sora's mom had always told us to wash up, and ever since I'd placed it into my meal routine. The way that Simon and Locke made a mess at the bathroom sink, I wondered if it wasn't something they normally practiced. They still did it, though, and soon we all joined for what I'd hoped would be a quiet meal. Safe to say that was a fool's dream.

"Please pass me the parmesan," Simon said in his best-little-boy-in-the-world voice. I handed him a packet when Locke seized my hand.

"Ow," he told me, an urgent expression on his face.

My brows furrowed. "What?"

"My tummy hurts," he moaned.

My eyes scanned the table and met Kairi, only she wasn't paying any attention to us. She was busily removing mushrooms from Celes's pizza, since apparently she didn't like them. Before I could react or even grab a napkin, the toddler barfed all over his plate—just like that.

It took all of my willpower not to do the very same.

Celes gasped, and Simon cried. Kairi looked panicked, while I was trying very hard not to gag. I glanced down at the two slices of pizza on my plate. Both had pepperoni and onions, my absolute favorite. One had a bite missing out of it, whereas the other one hadn't even been touched yet. Why was it that anytime I'd sit down for a good meal lately someone had to ruin it by throwing up? Did this _always _happen to Sora or something?

Once the poor boy had finished, he joined Simon in his sobbing. Kairi quickly ran a napkin over her lips and joined him on my side of the table. I'd realized then that I hadn't even done anything to help the kid. Instead I'd just watched him in horror. When I made a motion to help, Kairi shook her head.

"It's okay, Sora. I'll get him cleaned up," she reassured me. "Just...keep an eye on them, alright?"

I nodded curtly, very grateful that I wouldn't have to partake in the kid's mass cleanup. The two disappeared around the kitchen's wall, and I didn't see them for again for a very long time.

The table was still a dreadful mess, along with the high chair he'd sat on. Since my appetite was as good as gone anyway, I thought I might as well get a head start on the cleaning. I shoved my chair away from the table and stood up.

"If you guys want, you can go ahead and carry on in the living room," I replied breathlessly. "This is going to take a while to clean."

"What about you?" Simon quizzed.

My gaze lingered on the mess momentarily before I responded. "I'll see you when I see you, alright?"

I was amazed that Celes was the child who obeyed me. She hopped up from the table, plate in hand, and instantly went over towards her little brother.

"C'mon, Simon," she said sternly. "You have to listen to Sora, now."

Simon hung his head, but relented and swiped his plate off the table. The two marched off towards the living room, out of my hair and leaving me with a mess that'd probably take the rest of the evening to clean.

I didn't actually count the minutes, but I got done fairly quicker than I'd anticipated. I just finished mopping up the floor when Kairi came in, looking positively exhausted. She brushed her bangs away from her eyes.

"I put Locke to bed early," she told me. "He had a raging fever."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I wondered if he was sick." Truth be told, I'd thought he looked sick the moment we got there. I'd just hoped that I was wrong.

We finished cleaning up the kitchen together, even though there wasn't a whole lot left to do. Thank goodness the Tilmitts' believed in paper plates, so at least Kairi and I weren't left with a sink-full of dishes to wash. She rinsed the last of the glasses while I decided to go check on the kids with their pizza. They'd been pretty quiet for the past hour it'd taken me to clean, and I slowly began to wonder what they were up to.

The silence died the moment I stepped out of the kitchen and into the narrow hallway. Shrieks that belonged to none other than a girl sounded from the living room, along with a jumble of words I could hardly catch. I rushed into the living room to find out what was going on, and nearly fell over at the sight of it.

I didn't recognize it as the room we'd played Simon Says in only hours before. It was in a complete disarray. The kids were standing on pieces of furniture opposite of each other, shrieking at the top of their lungs and holding what looked like hockey sticks. Their pizza lay forgotten on the couch, tomato sauce oozing down the sides and staining the creamy suede material. Curtains along with their rods had been yanked to the floor. The video cabinet's doors were opened, revealing an empty cabinet with hundreds of discs and their cases littering the floor. The dog's food bowl had been flipped upside-down onto the coffee table, where that annoying yippy incarnation stood licking the sides clean. I swatted at him to go away, only it didn't do any good. Instead the creature only got mad at me. He started growling and snarling, appearing all the more adamant to remain in his spot. I decided to leave him be. There were far more important matters to tend to at that moment.

"STOP!" I shouted hysterically, waving my arms around in the air for emphasis. No one seemed to notice me. The two kids began trying to hit each other with their hockey sticks, banging a lamp off a table and onto the floor. It broke into more than a million pieces.

I leapt up onto the couch desperately, hoping that someone would notice me besides the neighbors, who probably thought we were all insane by now. I'll bet they could hear us, there's no way that they couldn't. I wondered how long it'd be before the police showed up at our door. That was going to be an interesting affair.

"STOP NOW!" I cried, my voice croaking as I screamed. Finally the kids stopped. I think I might've scared them. Both looked at me with huge, sullen eyes. Celes's cheeks turned pink. She suddenly seemed determined to look anywhere but me.

I let out a breath. At least my eardrums were receiving a reprieve. It's too bad my eyes weren't spared one, though. I shook a finger towards the floor, staring at the kids with my mouth gaping open.

"Do you see what you did?" I cried. "Do you see this big mess?"

Neither child said anything. There was nothing to say. The living room was completely trashed, and it happened in less than an hour. I growled in frustration, bending over to pick up a slice of pizza.

"I just can't believe you did this," I groaned.

"Well, look on the bright side," Simon piped up. I glanced over at him, wondering what sort of bright side he could've possibly conjured. "At least Mom and Dad have home insurance."

I crossed my arms irritably. "I don't think they'll cover something like this."

Kairi came into the room. She froze almost instantly, her gaze traveling over the curtains, to the broken lamp and to the pizza stain right beside me. It took her a moment to finally snap back into her senses. She looked at each of the kids in turn, her expression stern.

"Bed. Everyone. Now."

No one made a sound. They quickly tiptoed away from us, down the hall and towards their bedrooms. I looked at Kairi, who instantly looked at me.

We were going to have the time of our lives getting all this straightened up.

Somehow we managed to do it. I still don't know how. It took us forever to sort the discs back into their respective cases and back into the video cabinet. I found one disc that had even been broken. I carefully slid it into the kitchen trash underneath the cookies I'd emptied from their jar. I'm sure their parents were used to things like this happening. They'd probably hardly question one disc missing.

No matter how much stain remover we applied to the couch, we never got the pizza stain out. It was three shades lighter than it'd started, but I'm sure it'd still be noticed the moment they saw it. I carefully placed a throw pillow over it and forgot about it.

Kairi and I collapsed on the couch, both of us exhausted to the bone. I subconsciously stared at the TV with the wires poking out from everywhere. I wondered if I could get it to run. It'd be so nice to just watch TV for the remainder of our stay.

Just as I began contemplated which wire would go where, Simon came running up. He was wearing bright-green PJ's, except the bottoms were much darker than the top. It wasn't until I scrutinized him more carefully that I realized his pants were indeed wet.

"Uh, Sora?" he questioned me.

I raised a brow, reluctant to respond. "Huh?"

He gulped. "I...um..."

I suddenly realized what he was trying to say.

"No! Simon, you didn't!" I cried.

The blond kid nodded frantically. "I did."

"Where?" I demanded.

Silence followed my words. I jumped up from the couch and made my way over to him in only two strides. "Where did you have an accident, Simon?"

The kid started to cry. I didn't mean to upset him, but I really just wanted an answer. The sooner I knew, the sooner I could clean it up, which meant the sooner I could fix the TV.

"In—in bed," he stuttered. I couldn't believe my ears.

"In bed?" I repeated. "Wh—Simon, you're five years old! Why did this happen?"

"I'm sorry, Sora!" With that, he whirled around and disappeared.

So now I was left with a messy bed and a kid I couldn't find.

Kairi rested a hand on my shoulder. She must've realized how upset I was, for her words were soft and tender when she spoke. "Don't worry, Sora. I'll go clean up the bed. You take care of Simon."

I wasn't sure who was getting the better end of the deal, but I decided not to complain. I felt sort of bad that I'd scared the kid and kind of wanted to make it up to him, anyway. I found him a short while later in the master bathroom, hiding behind the shower curtain. It would've taken me much longer to find him had I not heard his sobs from the hallway.

It didn't take long to get him cleaned up. I gave him a quick bath and told a few non-humorous jokes while I was at it. He cheered up pretty quickly, and even gave me a hug before I tucked him back into bed.

"I'm glad you came to babysit me, Sora," he whispered softly in the darkness. Kairi stood in the doorframe. She watched us with a bemused smile. I cautiously pat the kid on the head and offered him a broad smile.

"Me, too, kiddo."

I flipped on the nightlight beside his bed, stole one quick glance at the sick Locke in his toddler bed, and together Kairi and I left the room. On our way down the hall we were greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Tilmitt themselves. While I didn't particularly like these people, I'd never been more happy to see anyone in my life.

"Oh, good, I'm so glad you're home!" Kairi exclaimed cheerfully, sparing me the embarrassment of displaying my enthusiasm. "Locke's running a fever, and we just got Simon back in bed."

Mrs. Tilmitt frowned, stealing a glance towards her watch. She gave us a curious look. "You already got the kids in bed?"

I shoved my hands in my pockets casually and grinned. "Uh-huh."

The woman looked clearly impressed.

"My goodness, you did that fast! Normally we can't get them all to bed until at least eleven o' clock! Tell me, how did you do it?"

I glanced over at Kairi, who returned the glance towards me. Did we really tell her everything that'd gone on that evening? Was I to tell her that Locke threw up all over the kitchen table, pizza stained the couch, the curtains got torn down, their discs got scattered, I was dancing in their living room, and Simon wet his pants?

Well, I sort of decided that some things were best left unsaid. The events that took place that evening were some of them.


	7. Riku's New Job

**Author's Note: ** This chapter came to me after recently completing Final Fantasy VII. I stared at the case and thought, "Hmm, I wonder what would happen if the Turks ran a pizza parlor..." I do suppose I have a very twisted sense of humor. :P

At the suggestion of some of my wonderful reviewers, I'm trying a bit harder to strike up an authentic voice for both Sora and Riku, namely Sora. That being said, I decided to try something a little different with this chapter; I hope it turned out alright. Any thoughts on this would be much appreciated—or wait, what am I saying? any review would be more than welcome! You might even convince me to hand out slices of pizza (if you don't get enough out of this chapter, that is).

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>I avoided spending time in Riku's house as much as possible, mainly to avoid his dad that'd taken to working at home in his study. More often times than not I'd lock myself in Riku's room and waste monotonous hours flipping through the hundreds of TV stations. The computer wasn't all that enjoyable, especially since it didn't like to open programs. That, or I was doing it wrong again; I'm not altogether certain which.<p>

Inside Riku's closet I discovered a hidden stash of snack foods, which saved my life over the last few days. There was probably enough there to last for a week! I couldn't help but wonder if Riku prepares for stuff like this to happen. I'd always known his dad was a nerd, but I didn't quite realize he was a creep, too.

I was opening the foil wrapper of my Pop-tart with my teeth when the phone rang. By that point I was seriously sick of phones. Last time I'd answered one it'd been Riku's dad inviting some crazy lady into the house. I didn't want to imagine what he could possibly be inviting this time.

I'm not sure whether it was desperation or insanity that drove me to unlock my bedroom door and go down the hall to answer it. Now that I think about it, it was probably both.

"Hello, is this Riku?" asked a guy with a thick city-like accent.

I thought about how Riku would respond. "Depends on who's looking for him."

"Very funny, kiddo," said the guy on the other line. "I sure hope you don't take this attitude on about working."

"Working?"

"That's right. The boss's reviewed your application that you filled out sometime last week, and he'd like a couple o' last words with ya before you're hired."

Hired? Me? Nah, why would someone hire me? The guy must've gotten it wrong; Riku wasn't looking for any job. Or, at least I didn't think he was.

"I...don't remember filling out any application," I said finally.

"Huh, that's funny, 'cuz I do." The man—or teenager, it was sort of hard to tell—gave a hollow laugh. "Anyways, do you want this job or not?"

I was silent for a moment. _Did_ I want a job? Technically I was underage to work, as was Riku, so I'd never really thought about it before. If working was anything like house cleaning or shopping I knew I'd hate it. Both events took all day and kept me out of the house or from other activities I'd rather be doing.

Then it dawned on me...

It'd keep me out of the house, precisely what I'd been wanting.

"Uh, yeah, okay," I replied. "What do I need to do?"

I probably wasn't supposed to hear him groan on the other line. "First you'll need to meet the boss, so why don't you come on in and introduce yourself?"

"Now?"

"No, next year. Now would be too convenient."

I had to admit this guy was kind of weird.

"Okay, sure. I'll be there." I paused, hesitating before proceeding to ask, "And where is this again?"

I heard him scowl. "T.'s Pizza...on Ninth Street?"

For some reason I was having a hard time envisioning Riku applying at a pizza parlor. I'd been expecting he'd work as a lifeguard or for some kind of fitness center, not be stuck in a stifling building making pizzas all day.

"I—I applied at some different places," I answered apologetically, hoping my voice didn't sound shaky.

"Uh-huh. Look, whatever. Just show up or don't, alright?"

He hung up the phone before I could respond. I was kind of sick of people doing that to me.

A part of me was glad to have a good excuse to get out of Riku's house for hours each day, but the other part of me thought I was crazy. I didn't really want to work. I was still a kid, I didn't have to.

One thing was for sure: if Riku and I ever managed to switch back, that money I made was gonna be mine.

I rode my bike over to Ninth Street, a narrow strip on the southern end of town packed with shops all along it. I didn't come out this way often, mainly because it held nothing I was interested in. Either the rich or the old that were finally rich came this way, and if you went into any store you'd find out why. Everything was upscale, from the fancy doorhandles to the dressy apparel, and the price tags would break your bank. I'm guessing T.'s Pizza must've been busy, since it was the only restaurant for several blocks and the street alone brought in consumers with money.

But then again, I suck at economics so I might've been wrong.

I parked my bike against the side of the building and casually strolled in, attempting to smooth down my hair in the process. I'd never been on a job interview before but, especially after that ill performance on the phone, I wanted to give the best presentation possible.

The restaurant was small. It probably only held about twenty tables, each one unoccupied. I approached the counter near the entrance. A redheaded man was standing behind it, counting out munny from a cash register. I stood there for a long moment, but the guy didn't even glance up. I thought about clearing my throat to get his attention when a girl with short blond hair came from behind him. I offered her a smile, which she didn't return. Instead her brows creased into a frown.

"Reno, looks like you've got company."

The redhead glanced up from his piles of cash. Our gaze met. A smile curved his lips as he shoved the remaining munny haphazardly into the cash register.

"So, you really did come after all."

I recognized his voice instantly as the man I'd spoken to on the phone. He was probably in his late twenties, if not early thirties, which was much older than I'd been expecting. His red hair was in the strangest style. The front half was spiked and the rest was held in a ponytail that fell far down his back. Sunglasses were pushed up against his hairline, even in the middle of a restaurant where he certainly wouldn't need them.

I straightened myself and took a step towards the counter. "Hello, are you the one I spoke with on the phone?"

He stared at me incredulously before laughing. I couldn't help but feel a tad bit annoyed. "Well, how was I supposed to know?"

"Know?" he repeated. "Well, I could'a hoped you'd remember something from last week. The name's Reno, ring a bell?"

I partly wished I could disappear. I'm sure Riku probably knew this guy. I slapped my forehead, thinking I could get away with pretending that I'd forgotten.

"Oh... Sorry, Reno. It's been a, um, very long week."

"Well, _apparently_." He shook his head. "Anyways, I'll go tell the boss you're here. Just hold still, alright?"

He had an odd way of speaking. Before I could respond, Reno already disappeared, leaving me with the blonde that I was relatively certain didn't know how to smile. I thought about trying to make her, but then thought against it. If I was going to get a job there it'd probably be best not to perform handstands and make silly faces.

It didn't take long for Reno to return with a man who I presumed was "The Boss." He looked no friendlier than Reno, with black hair that was slicked back and held tightly in a short ponytail. He seemed like the kind of guy that wasn't to be messed with.

The dark-haired man wasted no time in approaching the counter and holding out a hand towards me. "Tseng," he stated curtly.

I grasped his hand and he shook it, his grip so tight that I thought my fingers would fall off. In a moment he let go, watching me with a critical eye. I then realized this was probably the part where I was supposed to introduce myself.

"I'm Riku."

His dark eyes traveled over every aspect of me, down to my toes and up to the very tips of my hair. I held my breath and watched, waiting for the painful x-ray to finally be over. It seemed like forever before he turned to Reno and nodded.

"Yes, he'll do fine," he said to his employee. "Just keep an eye on him for the first day and keep him away from the cash register."

"The cash register?" I couldn't help but voice my question aloud. All three T.'s Pizza's employees turned to stare at me. Reno tapped the side of his head.

"He just don't want you getting any funny ideas," the redhead enlightened me.

I didn't know what to say that would save me from sounding like the worst idiot on the face of the islands. "Oh."

"But seriously, don't worry," Reno continued to The Boss. "This guy's too dense to steal anything. If he tried to it'd probably be in the middle of a cram-packed restaurant in broad daylight."

For some reason I didn't find that to be very funny.

The Boss made a motion towards the door. "Start him as soon as he's ready," he said, shooting a glance over his shoulder. Without another word, he disappeared somewhere in the back and wasn't to be seen again. I wasn't all that sorry to see him go. Reno yawned and shot a glance at a clock on the wall behind me.

"Well, you came at a good time, since it's just before the lunch rush hits," he told me. "Why don't you come on back here and I'll get you set up with some dough."

That kind of sounded like fun. I loved working with dough at my house, whether it be biscuit dough, cookie dough or bread dough. I don't think my mom liked me working with it as much as I did, though, since she usually insisted she didn't need help in the kitchen when it came to backing such things.

I met Reno on the other side of the cash register. He seemed taller when he wasn't behind a counter.

"Alright, kiddo, so what do you know about making pizza?" he asked me. I shrugged, causing him to let out a sigh. "You mean you don't know _anything_?

"Not _anything_, exactly," I began, scratching the back of my head. "I mean, I kinda know what you're supposed to do, but haven't ever actually done it before."

Reno grunted, but said no more. We silently walked beyond the counter through a set of double doors leading to the back room. I'd partly wondered what was back here, and now I was getting to see for myself.

A door labeled "Management" was along the right-hand wall, while the rest of the back room was a large kitchen. I counted at least four ovens lining the walls, each one radiating heat that made the room uncomfortably warm. Pizza boxes cluttered the floors and countertops. One counter was reserved for pizza toppings, where a bald guy with a business suit and an apron busily sprinkled cheese on freshly tossed crust. I almost laughed at the sight of him. Reno clapped me on the shoulder and pointed towards the topping counter.

"Here's where you're gonna make pizzas," he told me, as if I were a little kid and couldn't figure it out myself. "I want you to toss the crust, spread sauce on it and then throw it over towards Rude to top—"

"Rude?" I interjected.

He gestured towards the bald man along the counter. "He'll be working back here with you."

At the mention of his name, Rude glanced in our direction. I casually waved.

"Hello, Rude!" I greeted.

He barely nodded before turning back towards the pizza counter. I found this a slight bit, well, _rude_. Reno dragged me over to my co-worker and tapped him on the shoulder.

"This here's Riku, the kid that The Boss hired to help ya out during lunch rush," said Reno.

The man glanced over at me a second time and nodded. "...Okay."

I was still getting over the shock of not being greeted properly when Reno steered me over to a corner. Tubs were all over creation, most had lids while others were just empty. He grabbed one and plopped it on the countertop.

"In here's your dough," he said, rolling up his sleeve lazily while plunging his hand into it. I couldn't help but wonder how clean they were, especially because I hadn't seen him wash them since he was handling munny. Even _I _know that there's regulations about washing your hands before handling food in restaurants.

"Okay."

Reno threw a large blob down in front of me.

"'Bout that size'll make you a medium pizza," he said. "Add a quarter to that and you'll have your large, take a quarter and you'll get a small. Follow me?"

"Uh-huh," I replied, wishing I could take notes down somewhere. I threw a glance over my shoulder towards my pizza companion. He didn't look over at us. I figured if worst came to worst I could easily ask him for instructions again, even if he wasn't the friendliest of creatures.

"Now, once you get through I need you to pass it to Rude, who's gonna top it for ya, and then I want you to take it over here"—he took a few paces towards the wall—"to the ovens."

I nearly got dizzy at the sight of them. So many dials and buttons! How would I ever know what to press?

I think Reno must've noticed my look of alarm, since he turned to me calmly and added, "They cook on four hundred and twenty-five degrees."

I whirled around to face him. "And, uh, where exactly can I find that?"

The redhead chuckled. "You'll figure it out, kiddo."

He probably thought I'd been joking, but little did he realize I was actually serious. Reno moved away from me, stopping at Rude's counter long enough to glance at the toppings and pop a black olive in his mouth. Leaning his back against the counter, he nodded in my direction, clearly addressing Rude. "I think the kid'll work."

Rude remained busily working for quite some time before finally responding. "You said that about the last one."

Reno scowled, accidentally dumping a plate of anchovies over. He strode over the the kitchen's double door exit. I wanted to stop him, since I still wasn't altogether certain what I was supposed to do, but I knew even if I did it wouldn't help me any. Reno seemed like the kind of person to revel in another's errs, and I felt as though I was already being set up for failure. Without further ado, the redhead pushed his way through the doors to the front of the store.

I was left alone with buckets of dough and a rude man that wouldn't even greet me. I finally decided that if I wanted to come back to work the next day I'd need to get my act in gear. I instantly burrowed my fingers into the squishy dough and pulled out a couple fistfuls. It was then I realized that Reno only told me how to measure the dough, not what sizes that I needed to make.

"Hey, Rude?" I was shocked that I actually got his attention. His forehead pinched into a frown as he turned to face me. "What size of crust do I need to make?"

Rude stood there silently, his gaze traveling over the clump of dough in my hands.

"No orders yet," he stated flatly. "Elena'll bring us the sheet."

"The sheet?" I repeated.

"Of orders."

"Oh..."

"So get ready."

"_Get ready for what?"_ I wondered, but I didn't get the chance to ask him. The blond woman that I'd seen at the counter arrived, smoothing back her hair before fixing me with a cool stare.

"Are you ready?" she asked me.

I glanced towards my dough-filled hands and nodded. "Sure am."

"Good." She came over to me in three quick strides and laid a notepad down for me to see. "Here's the orders thus far, and Reno'll be bringing the next wave of them shortly."

My gaze trailed over the list, which contained at least a couple dozen pizzas. Sizes were noted along with abbreviations. I was glad that I wasn't in charge of the toppings; at least I wouldn't have to decipher what all those letters meant.

"I'm going to need the first batch in about thirty minutes," she continued. "Leave them cut in their respective boxes by the door, 'kay?"

I wanted to ask more but she was already gone, leaving me once again with pizza dough I had no clue how to treat.

I observed the sheet of orders again. It mostly consisted of large pizzas, with only a few smalls and, surprisingly, no mediums. I hoped that I could remember how Reno made that large.

I rolled the clump of dough in my hands for probably five minutes before slamming it down on the countertop. I was pretty pleased with how perfectly round it was.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when someone tapped my shoulder from behind. I whirled around to find myself facing Rude. "Yeah? Want something?"

He grunted before gesturing towards the dough. "Are you almost finished?"

Was I almost—? Was this guy crazy? Did it _look _like I was almost finished to him? Oh, the lack of patience!

"Not really," I said. This didn't go over as well as I'd hoped.

"Elena will be upset if the pizza isn't ready when she comes back," he said curtly. Maneuvering around me, he lowered his hand into the tub and brought it up with a huge clump of dough. "I'll set to work on the smalls, you hurry on those larges."

"Yessir." I almost saluted him, but decided not to at the last minute. This guy had _no _sense of humor.

I'd always seen the pizza guys toss the dough, only I had no idea how to do it. My mom never tossed hers. I glanced over at Rude, who spun a pizza crust around on his index finger. Around and around it went; I was surprised that it didn't just go flying into the wall. After a while he tossed it in the air, caught it, and finally set it back down where he drowned it in red goopy sauce.

I shot a glare at my own pizza crust, which had sprung back into its little ball after having smoothed it out several times. Tossing the dough didn't look anywhere near as hard as I thought it might be. I partly thought I should give it a try...

And try I did.

The moment I began spinning it on my finger it tore a hole right down the middle. I gently tried to patch it up by melding the dough together in my hands, but it wasn't working very well. I decided to try tossing it next, but that went even worse. I threw it up in the air, miscalculated where it'd land, and it fell on the dirty tile floor with a sickening smack.

It caught Rude's attention, that's for sure. He whirled around to shoot a glance at the dough on the floor, then at me.

"What you trying to do, kid?"

"_What does it look like I'm trying to do, you kook!" _I thought to myself, but I knew better than to voice this aloud. I bent over to pick up my fallen crust when the rude man started wailing at me again.

"Don't use it now! Throw it away and start over!"

"I—" I began, and then shook my head. It would've been no use explaining that I was going to do that on my own, anyway.

I'd only just started smoothing down my next lump of dough when the familiar redhead came back. He fixed us both with a cool stare before looking at the countertops dismally.

"Having troubles, are we, Riku?" he asked.

My heart pounded in my chest. "Not really... It's just—I've never done this before."

He walked over to me, observing the dough I'd thrown in the garbage and then the tub that was still quite full. "You're not making a whole lot of progress."

I growled under my breath, only I don't think he heard it. He turned hard eyes onto the ball of dough in my hands before laying another sheet of paper down on top of the list we already had.

"Well, looks like you need to speed things up a little, since the orders are coming in speedy quick around here," Reno said flatly. "Elena—the blond chick—is gonna go out and deliver 'em to people's homes, so I'm going to need you to serve them out in the restaurant once you get a handful of them or so done. Capiche?"

"Wait—no," I began, literally grabbing his wrist before he could turn and make a break for it. "You've gotta tell me a little more than that."

Reno let out a sigh and smoothed his hair back away from his face, which fell back into place almost instantly. "Once you get a few pizzas I want you to deliver them to their respective tables"—he gestured towards the list—"see these little numbers here?"

Sure enough, numbers were placed directly before each order, but they weren't in numerical order like I'd been expecting.

"These here are the table numbers," he explained. "You don't have to do nuttin' fancy, just drop them off at the right tables and split."

That sounded insanely easy in comparison to what I was doing then.

"And what'll you be doing?" I asked, even though I probably shouldn't have. I was sure of this when Reno frowned in response.

"Just worry about your job, alright?" he answered cockily. I knew I wouldn't be getting any better answer than that. After searching the kitchen as though he were our supervisor, he left about as abruptly as he arrived.

The door labeled "Management" hadn't moved the whole time I'd been there. It was probably where The Boss resided, but I was partly surprised he hadn't shown his face yet. I couldn't help but wonder if this was instead a door that led to the outside world rather than an office. If that were the case, I couldn't blame the guy for being eager to disappear behind it.

My dough remained sticky in the palms of my hands. I'd have to figure out how to make this pizza _fast_, which was kind of looking impossible from where I stood. I tried twirling it again, and luckily it didn't rip down the middle. I was exceptionally pleased. Next I had to throw it, only this time I would be sure to catch it. My dad had taught me to keep my eye on the ball whenever we'd play catch; I assumed pizza crust probably followed very similar guidelines.

Being careful to keep my eyes on the crust at all times, I threw it up in the air, and...I caught it.

But not in my hands.

It landed smack on my face.

The kitchen went dark briefly as I pried the goo off my forehead. It stuck pretty good. Once my eyes were free they darted towards Rude, who, to my great fortune, hadn't even glanced my way. Needless to say this pizza attempt flew into the garbage faster than you could count three.

_"This is it,"_ I told myself, rolling another ball in my hands. "This time it _has _to work!"

I knew I was seriously running out of time. The blond, who I discovered was Elena, had quoted us a thirty-minute turnaround for a couple dozen pizzas. It'd been almost that, and we only had the smalls ready that Rude made.

Taking a deep breath, I threw the pizza high in the air, watching it ascend the entire time. My hands were outstretched, waiting for it to come down, only strangely it never did. I observed the crust carefully. There it remained, a few feet above me, dangling in midair but not falling as it should've. It wasn't until I heard laughter from behind me that I knew something had definitely gone wrong.

I whirled around to find Rude rubbing the back of his bald head, laughing at me like some lunatic.

"What?" I demanded.

Rude pointed at the floating dough. "It's the first time I've seen _that_ happen," he said.

"What happen?"

"That." He shook his index finger at the dough. "It's sticking to the ceiling."

"What?!"

He chuckled again before he resumed topping his pizzas. I squinted upward, realizing he was right: my pizza truly _was _sticking to the ceiling. I would've very much liked to dig a hole for myself and hide there.

I looked over and noticed all the pizzas lined along Rude's countertop. Each one was raw, having not yet been placed in the scorching ovens to be cooked. Things were getting a little desperate, and I decided it was time to take some extreme measures.

"Hey, you know I can't do this," I said to him, hoping that if I took that "defeated" attitude that he might feel superior and help me. "So why don't we trade?"

Rude turned to face me, looking utterly bewildered. "...Trade?"

"Yeah," I said. "Like, how about I top the pizzas and you make the crust?"

"Already done topping here," he replied, "but someone's got to cook them."

I was surprised he was only just now realizing this.

"I could cook them."

He raised a brow. "You could?"

"Sure," I shrugged. "How hard could the ovens be?" I didn't bother to explain I had no clue how to work them. It seemed a heck of a lot easier than trying to make crust.

Rude looked down, seeming to process this for a moment.

"I...suppose I could make the rest," he said slowly. "Can you really handle the ovens?"

"Four hundred and twenty-five degrees, right?" I asked, trying to prove myself. The guy barely nodded. Without really affirming, Rude left for the dough corner, where he twirled and threw pizza much faster and higher than I could've ever hoped to. I grabbed a pizza and began to walk it to the ovens. Little did I realize that the crust was flimsy and would collapse in my hands. It was virtually ruined.

Thankfully, Rude hadn't noticed the disaster. I set the pizza back on the counter, desperately trying to salvage it the best I could. While I was busily unsticking the sides of it, Elena came in. She was shorter than me, but that didn't change how stern she was.

"Where's the pizzas?" she asked.

I pointed to the counter laden with raw ones. "Right here."

Her eyes widened at the sight of them.

"What? You mean to say you haven't cooked _any _of them yet?" she asked incredulously.

"Uh—I—well..."

She threw her hands up in defeat. "I don't believe it! How am I going to explain _this _one to the customers?!"

"Maybe just...explain the truth?" I suggested. "Maybe they'd sympathize that you have a new employee?"

She stared at me as if I were crazy.

"Oh, that's really going to fly with them and The Boss," she muttered sardonically. "This is going to lose us a lot of business!"

I felt bad. I truly did, but Elena's complaining really wasn't helping matters. I wish that she would've thought to stop and help me make the pizzas if she was so desperate for them, but of course that would've been all too easy. I noticed Elena steered clear from anything that could get her hands messy. Maybe she, like me, hadn't even made a pizza before.

After she left, it took me forever to find a tray to cook the pizzas on. They were made of stone and surprisingly heavy. Since I'd discovered that lifting the pizza was a fruitless attempt, I tried sliding it off the counter and onto the stone. I found this worked exceptionally well.

Needless to say the ovens weren't like the typical ones I'd seen. These were huge, with knobs that I couldn't understand and handles that looked as though they'd take a lot of effort to pull open. I carefully set the stone tray down as I looked over the oven more thoroughly. Most of the dials had numbers, while one had letters. Another had different markings like a light bulb and a fan, but I had no idea what they meant. I opened one of the ovens to place the pizza in when a wave of hot air gushed out. It caused me to nearly drop the tray.

Then it occurred to me that these ovens were already hot, which meant I didn't have to try and figure out all the dials! I was about ready to jump and skip with joy.

I allowed the door to slam shut as I wiped my palms together. This was going to be easier than I'd thought. While I wasn't sure how long the pizzas needed to cook, I figured a good ten minutes would probably do. Ten minutes always worked at our house and, if memory served me right, I thought my mother cooked pizza at four hundred and twenty-five degrees.

Since I had nothing left to do, I considered offering to help Rude, but he didn't really appear to be needing any assistance. He was already finished tossing dough and was now topping them with incredible speed. I'd never seen anyone work so fast before. It was a wonder that he was here making pizzas when he could be filling some other kind of high-maintenance job, maybe even for security or something.

Ten minutes had passed before I decided to check the pizzas. My heart sank in horror by what I found in the first oven I opened—

A terribly burnt mushroom and spinach pizza.

I brought a hand to grip the roots of my hair. I couldn't believe my luck. But, then again, I suppose this went right along with the terrible luck I'd been having lately. Not wanting to make a ruckus and attract Rude's attention, I quickly snatched a pair of mitts off the wall and pulled the pizza out. It was smoking and looked pretty awful.

I decided it was time to improvise.

I knew it was wrong, and I definitely wouldn't have done it had I not been under such a time constraint, but I took the pizza cutter and removed the blackened patches on the pizza. It worked pretty well for the most part, but I thought there were some places that looked kind of bald afterwards.

With things as they were, it was the very best I could do. I snatched up the boxes I had, tore the sheet of orders from Rude, and escaped the disastrous kitchen into the main restaurant.

I hardly recognized it when I got there. The tables that were once empty now held customers, their chatter replacing the silence that rang disturbingly throughout the building. I started to charge out the door leading to the tables when Reno caught me by the collar.

"What kind of pizzas you got there?" he hissed in my ear.

I jerked away and shot him a glare.

"I don't know, they're on my list," I replied irritably.

Reno let out a groan. "You mean you didn't mark them?"

...Mark them?

I guess my expression must've been telling, since he seized the boxes from me and dropped them forcefully on the counter. He began to open the lid of one when a customer approached the cash register. He thrust a ballpoint pen in my clammy hands.

"Here, you check them and mark the boxes," Reno muttered. "But don't go anywhere. Gotta tell you something."

For some reason I didn't think I wanted to know what it was.

It seemed to take me forever to go through and checkmark the appropriate topping options on their boxes. I'd only brought out five pizzas, but _still_. I was just glad that I was checking them and not Reno. For some reason I don't think he would've been happy to find crunchy, half-burnt pizzas that were not in fact cooked on four hundred and twenty-five degrees.

I'd just closed the final box when the redhead clapped my shoulder and pointed out into the crowded restaurant.

"You see that guy over there?" he whispered. I squinted, observing the customers. There were a lot of guys over there, so it was hard for me to know which one he was talking about.

"I'm...not sure," I said. "Which one?"

Reno shook his head. I don't know why he had such trouble when it came to explaining things. He pointed again, this time waving his finger.

"The fat one in the green suit and black mustache," he told me. "If you've got a cheese pizza with pepperoni and red onions, take it to him—"

I began to consult my list.

"I don't think I've got his table here," I began, but Reno interrupted before I could finish.

"Course not, since I just took his order and haven't even given it to you yet."

"Oh..."

"Screw the list. This guy needs to get his food first, got me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I completely get you," I said, grumbling a little more than I'd intended.

Reno appeared satisfied then. "Good. Now, get a move on! You're already late!"

I don't know why he thought I needed to be reminded of that.

I felt vulnerable once I stepped into customer territory. Just like in Hamburger Heaven, everyone stopped to stare at me, probably because I was the guy holding their potential meal. I wondered if anyone there had seen the milkshake incident. Maybe they were staring because they remembered me. That sure was a horrible thought.

As per Reno's instructions, I came to the table with the fat man in the green suit and black mustache first. While the description that Reno'd given him seemed terrible, it definitely fit him right on. He smiled when I showed up.

"That was certainly quick!" he exclaimed jubilantly.

I grinned; at least someone was happy.

"Here you are, sir," I said in my most business-like voice. "I hope you enjoy your meal."

I checked the box to be sure I was giving him the right one before setting it down on the table. It was then I noticed I wasn't the only one serving pizzas. Apparently I'd caused a bit of a pizza delivery back-up, since The Boss himself had taken to serving.

I tried not to let my embarrassment show as the green-suited man opened his pizza box, all giddy with excitement. He kind of reminded me of some kid opening a very special present. His excitement fell upon seeing the pizza. I couldn't decide whether vanishing or remaining present was going to be the better option.

I looked away from the table. My eyes met those of The Boss. Uh-oh.

"This," the mustached man began, eyeing it curiously, "looks...different than when I'd last had it from you."

The Boss had amazing speed. Before I knew it, he came up to the table and began gushing apologies out to the mustached man.

"I'm very sorry if this pizza isn't what you were expecting, Mr. Heidegger," he said quickly. "If you wouldn't mind waiting one moment, I can bring you another at no additional charge—"

"No, no, Tseng. This is what I was brought and this is what I shall eat," he replied, offering the The Boss a wide smile. The Boss looked horrified, shooting a quick glance at me before speaking to Mr. Heidegger once more.

"Please, I insist," he further pressed. "You see, I have a new employee and so the restaurant isn't at its best right now."

"Tseng, I said this will do," Mr. Heidegger said, a tone of finality filling his voice. "I don't want another pizza. That would ruin the whole point of this critique, wouldn't it?"

"Critique?" I repeated, my tongue going incredibly numb.

The look of shock that Reno threw me across the the restaurant told me all I needed to know: that soon I would be in very big trouble.

It all happened so quickly that I didn't fully process it. The Boss was leading me into the back room, with Reno hot on his heels. We emerged into the "Management" door, and apparently it didn't lead to the outside like I'd been wondering. It led to a small office instead. Papers lined the floors and walls. A stack of files rested on a chair in the corner, which Reno immediately flung aside before taking a seat. The Boss moved to the armchair at his desk. Even though I wasn't told, I shakily took the seat in front of it.

"I hope you realize what you've just done," The Boss said, his voice cold.

I gulped. "Sorry, I think I'm just processing it now."

"_That _was Mr. Heidegger," he continued. "And, if you didn't already know, he's a food critique."

My heart sank even further.

"He comes once a year to write a review on our restaurant." His voice grew more dangerous as he spoke. "He tells everyone what he thinks of our food and customer service. Tell me, do you know what he'll say about me this year?"

I wasn't sure if he was really expecting an answer or not. As the moments passed and he still continued to watch me, I kind of wondered if he was.

"That...you need to train your new employees better?"

"No, that I need to be closed down before Christmas!" he cried, slamming a file down on the desk with much force. The bulletin board on the wall fell down. Gauging from no one's reaction, I'm assuming this was a usual occurrence. "Because my employees are _idiots _and my food is garbage!"

I winced at the last bit of his sentence. I stole a glance over at Reno, who looked to be thoroughly enjoying the show. I wanted nothing more than to disappear.

The Boss was shaking with rage. He rose a hand to his temples, but this only half-succeeded in calming him.

"You—get out of this building," he barely stuttered. "I never want to see you in this part of town again!"

I didn't need to be told twice. I sprung up from my chair and quickly tore out of the building. I even went out the emergency exit that made the alarm sound. I'll bet that should ruin any remaining customer base that Mr. Boss had left.

Needless to say I don't think I'll ever bother trying to get another job again. Or, at least not until I'm twenty.


End file.
